Not Your Luna (Formerly His Rogue Luna)

Chapter 9

Song: Here With Me - Marshmello ft. CHRVCHES

******

"One thing you'll learn from what I'm about to tell you, is you can never really leave your past behind you. It will always be there, haunting you, breathing down your neck, forcing you to submit.

Most fear it. Let it control them. It seems the only constant, why not embrace it? The answer is simple. Your past defines you. It makes you the person you are at this very moment. And as much as I hate what has happened to me, my past has made me who I am today, and I'm fine with that.

People who live in pain are always the strongest. They carry around the weight of their world as everyone else's worlds come crashing down around them. They constantly keep fighting when life urges you to quit. That's strength. That's spirit.

And then there's me. I'm stuck in the middle. I've lived with the pain of losing everything, everyone, my whole life, keeping my head afloat with only the thought of vengeance. With dreams of slowly killing the man who ripped my mother's throat out. Then comes my death."

"Wow, Emma. That's really deep. But I don't think killing anyone is the answer."

"Jesus, I can't believe you listened to all that. Everything I just said, that's all bullshit. To be honest, my revenge fantasies are the only part I actually meant. Sure your past defines you, but you aren't your past."

"I still don't think murder is the answer. Also, please don't kill yourself, I happen to like you being alive."

"Damn it, Nathan!" I slammed my shot glass down onto the table, making him flinch, "Why do you have to be so positive?"

"Just trying to be the voice of reason, I guess."

"Whatever. You do you, I'll do me." Okay. Y'all are probably confused, let me back up. Nathan is my favorite bartender, self-proclaimed therapist, and possible friend. Not to mention he's not too hard on the eyes. Also, he's a rogue that left the pack I'm tracking. I know. Multitasking is fun.

So far all I've gotten from him is that the leader calls himself the Regent. Name's kinda cool, and being able to keep hundreds of rogues in line? Respect. I can't even manage to keep myself in line. I'll enjoy killing him.

"Nate! Tequila! Stat. And keep them coming!" I winked and he hid a blush.

A girl walked up to me, "You know, he's totally head over heels for you. I've been trying to flirt with him when he brings me drinks, but he seems to only have eyes for you."

"I'm not really one for love. Or relationships. I had someone once, and the second I turned my back, he was already having sex with someone else. I would've killed him, but he was kind of my soul mate, and killing him would mean killing myself, and I couldn't let that happen, I mean, I still have a lot to do in this world. Like kill other people." She started to back away in fear, "Okay I'm totally over this conversation. Bye now."

She scoffed but I could tell she was scared. She then proceeded to run away, or try to, she kept tripping. Ha. Shouldn't have worn heels, you slutty bitch. (A/N Wearing heels doesn't make you slutty, or a bitch.)

"Why do you always have to scare away my costumers?" Nate said with a smile, but I began to feel bad. Which never happens by the way.

I began to think about what the slut had said. He seemed to like me, and I obviously liked him if I was feeling guilt.

"Nate!"

"Yeah. Sorry. I'll get you those drinks in one second." Good. I was definitely going to need them.