Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 60

My mind fades in and out whilst I sleep. Sometimes I'll pick out pieces of conversations happening around me, but never enough to listen fully. Most of the time, I sleep dreamlessly.

When my ears start to cling more thoroughly to the voices around me, there's a particular voice that stands out. A familiar voice that I know. It's soothing, calming...and it reminds me of home.

Some of the other voices bicker between themselves, but some of them talk to me, as if waiting for me to respond.

When I do slowly start to stir, my eyelids feel as if they've been welded together, and prying them open is the hardest thing to do. I feel my chest rise and fall evenly as I inhale air, an answer to my unasked question of whether I am alive or dead.

But perhaps breathing exists in the afterlife as well?

Whether or not that's true, or whether there is an afterlife or not, I know one thing for sure.

I am alive.

So what the fuck happened to me?

A low groan escapes me, my entire body feels drained and heavy, but I force myself to move.

I manage to peel my eyes open, blinking rapidly as they adjust to the low light and the visuals around me. I swallow as best I can, my mouth dry. My head pounds like I've been hit repeatedly with a hammer.

My eyes dart around, taking in all of the stark metal. I'm in the Dropship, on the top level, I think.

Realisation suddenly hits me.

The Grounder. The knife. Octavia.

Finn.

I use my hands to push myself up, my head feeling so heavy and thumping repeatedly. I groan in pain and lie back down, the noise stirring someone nearby.

"Chris?" Raven's voice sounds groggy, like she was asleep, and I piece together that it was Raven's voice in particular that caught my attention. "Chris—oh my god."

She shuffles over to me, moving into my line of vision and sighs in relief.

"You're okay." She laughs lightly, tears starting to brim in her eyes. "Thank god you're awake."

"R-Raven?" My voice is hoarse and raspy, my throat dry.

"Here." She reaches over and grabs a cup of water closely tilting my head, allowing me to drink.

The liquid soothes my dry throat, and I swallow a couple times after drinking to get used to the sensation.

"Finn," I manage to say, "w-where--"

"He's okay." Raven rushes out, "He's downstairs. You're both okay."

I feel like her last sentence was aimed more at herself than it was to me, but nonetheless I sigh in relief and manage to relax, but it's short lived when I remember where I am.

"The Grounder?" I whisper.

Raven's face changes and she glances over her shoulder. "He's up on the top level, he's still alive."

Which means I'm on the middle level.

My jaw clenches and I nod as best as I can, my head still pounding. "What...what happened?"

Raven sighs and shifts her position. "Remember when you guys were in the cave, and Finn pushed you out the way of the knife?" I nod at the bitter memory.

"I hit my head."

"Clarke said you got a concussion." Raven brushes some of my hair away from my face.

I sigh and let my eyes flutter close, allowing my brain to process the information.

"I thought I was going to lose you too." I hear Raven whisper, I open my eyes again to see her shaking her head and quickly wiping at her cheeks. "I don't think I could cope if I lost you both."

Seeing Raven like this causes a pang of guilt to hit my chest.

"I...I'm sorry." I croak out. "Raven, I'm so sorry about Finn."

"What are you talking about?" She sniffs and wipes her eyes once more. "I told you, Finn's fine."

"But he was helping me." I tell her. "He pushed me out of the way of the knife. It should've been me that got stabbed, me that got poisoned, and now you hate me and he hates me—"

"Don't say that." Raven says harshly, "Don't you dare say that, Chris."

I open my mouth but she cuts me off, placing her hand in mine.

"Finn risked his life for you because he loves you, he made that choice. He doesn't hate you, and neither do I. We've both said and done some things, but..." Raven's face changes and her voice grows softer, yet more sure, "We'll always be family."

Hearing those words knocks down the walls I've spent so long building up against her, and tears start to stream down my cheeks.

"I've missed you so damn much, Raven." She leans down towards me and I wrap my arms around her neck, burying my face into her shoulder. "Spending every day in lock up without seeing you or Finn...it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"I know." She whispers, "I know."

The hatch onto the second level opens, and Raven and I pull apart, hastily wiping away our tears as Clarke climbs up the ladder.

She's startled when she sees me awake, but her face quickly welcomes a smile of relief.

"Well, it's about time you woke up."