Life is the Land of Misfit Toys

part 2

The bell rang and I left as quickly as I could.

I didn't want him to say anything to me or look at me or anything at all that has to do with me and what was witnessed today.

I just kept walking and walking until I got to the lunch room. I just looked around for a seat even though I knew I would be sitting by myself outside again, like usual. I still look every day because maybe one day she'd be back and I'd sit with her and everything would be okay. But, I knew I was wrong. Nothing would be okay again.

Then someone touched me and all I muttered was a "sorry" as I moved to let them through.

"No, it's okay. Sorry on my part actually. I just wanted to say hi."

I turned to see who was talking to me.

And, God, I never lost my breath so fast. I never felt like I was going to sink into an abyss as quickly as I did when I saw him there. His blue eyes just staring at me and his smile barely playing at the corner of his lips. He was taller up close, I never said a word to him so I didn't notice really but, damn, was he attractive. His hair deep brown at the roots and the blonde shining at the ends of his hair somehow blending together. His teeth straighter now with out braces but his smile was memorable either way.

I just wanna know why he's talking to me. "Hi.." And I didn't have the guts to ask, so I didn't.

"I liked what you said in group" was all he said, lowering his voice so no one heard him. Only then did I notice we were practically hiding in a corner, unseen by even the darkest light.

Then I got it.

"Don't talk to me." Was all I said before I walked off.

He seemed shocked as I walked away and out into the pouring rain but I didn't care.

He can either talk to me and do it like a normal person or just not talk to me at all. Hiding and speaking in whisper was not something I wanted to do. No, I'm not one to stand out, but if he's going to be embarrassed to talk to me that's his problem. 

So what if he was like me? He's totally different and in a better world. He probably gets things on a silver platter. Maybe even a gold platter.

So what if he self harms? Maybe he got a bad grade or suspension from soccer. Maybe his parents are fighting like they used to. It's probably that his girlfriend broke up with him.

So what if he is attractive? He's loved by everyone. He doesn't need my love or attention. He gets enough of that on his own.

I felt bad I was bashing on him so much but it's the truth.

That or he's hiding more things behind those oceans of eyes he has.

But as of then, I didn't want to know. I had my own problems to deal with, my own life to figure out, my own family to fix. I couldn't deal with him and his differences. He'll be fine. And so will I.

I hope.