MoonChild

Lovely

Ever woke up and feel like you are drowning in an endless amount of fluid that was not only warm but thick? Isn't that lovely? I wish I could say I didn't relate. It was the next thing I remember clearly. The moment between falling into unconsciousness and waking up in a blue fluid isn't clear to me. I remember being in the darkness a lot. Maybe meeting with someone twice a week to see how I was and to feed me. I wasn't scared though. It felt like home; sadly. I didn't realize I wasn't at home until I left that dark room.

Scared and confused, I was chained and led down an overly white and bright hallway. It was as if they wanted to blind me on purpose. I was washed, dressed, and explained rules but never told me anything about why I was there or what was my future. They just said that my future would be bright there. This was my "new home". They failed to let me know sitting in unkown fluids was apart of the deal. I was not ok when I first woke up in it.

My eyes flew open, panic rushing through me as I thrashed against the fluid. Mouth tightly shut, I inhaled and exhaled for my life through the tube in my nose. Closing my eyes, I trembled, reaching out into what I thought was void to find a glass. Banging on the glass, I prayed that someone would hear me and that I wouldn't drown. After what felt like a whole 24 hours, I suddenly fell on to a cold title floor; the fluid following me, draining into the tiny holes in the ground.

The first time I was in the tank, I was sure they wanted to kill me, but I couldn't be any more wrong. A group of people, dressed all in white rushed to my aid, helping me up and quickly checked my vitals. I looked around me frantically. Eyes were on me from every angle; over ten people in scrubs and a few in lab coats. I didn't even realize they removed the IVs was removed from my arms. Once I was able to get on my feet, with help of a few people in scrubs, I trembled slightly; the icky feeling of being out on display, naked in front of people without permission traveled up my back and down, clenching on my stomach as it gasped for substance. "Send her to her first steps," Said a man in a doorway, turning my eyes to him; old man, with a blank, emotionless expression.

Firmly held by the men holding me up, they helped me out of the room to a bathing room. I couldn't speak, or more like I couldn't bring myself to. I felt disgusted as they cleaned me off. For the first time in what seemed my life, I burst into tears. I didn't look for sympathy from the men, nor could I look up at them at all. I just let them do their job; dressing and tamed my chocolate brown curly hair. It was tough for them, but I could tell they've dealt with black hair before. Its was the only time I realized How much me being mixed was different from others. I was very much treated as some kind of rare artifact. When I finally was able to see and, meet other kids in the facility I was caged in, they didn't know how to approach me and I didn't know how to socialize.

I got past it though. Every child there had their own shell, and there was some kind of borderline respect to each other knowing the other was suffering with them. Everyone had their shells in which the kept guarded. Everyone had a reason to be here in this cage. Was I the only one to sleep in a solution at least a week a year? I didn't know. I grew up over the years in this pattern until I got a glimpse of out side world. As we got into our 20's they separate us and sent us out to the university, getting modern everyday degrees in business, accounting, management and such, so we could fend for our selves for the most part, and have checkups and moderate evaluations with close observations. They were stupid enough to let me go to a city university and live alone. The more I learned more and more on how different I was living compared to others around me and different experiences we relate too, made me want to do more search on what lie I was living.

I started to pay attention to details when I was in the facility; names of staff and company's logos and names, products and etc. The more and more I dug into the darkness, the more and more I realized my home wasn't my home but my testing kennel. I showed no sign that I knew though; keeping my actions and expressions the same,emotionless and numb. However in the inside, I couldn't help but feel betrayal and anger. I went along with it though, until I graduated business school. Instead of learning how and why I was sent there, instead of investigating what they were doing to me and why they wanted in the first place; I ran.

Yes, I'm the stupid bitch who ran after a month of planning to just get free, just to get out of my cage, because being in a cage meant not having any control over my life. I was tired of people controlling my whole life plan. All my life I was treated as inhuman and just an object. I was tired, and so I ran away. It was a week after they settled me into an apartment near where I had just had gotten an interview for an internship. The had thought I gotten the job, giving me my ID, social security card, and all the necessary things. They where idiots. Why wouldn't I run? I never understood why others stayed in control. Was it because they were protecting something? Was it because they need to hide from something? It didn't matter to me though. I took all of the important documents, a backpack and started the chase.

It's been 2 years now, and I've finally escaped their radar. I've been so tired of so long. Now, I can finally rest and settle in this packed busy city of Bayport. I can search for my family and become the person I need to and is destined to be.

"You were not born on earth to please anyone; you have to live life to express yourself, not to impress someone. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, and never lose yourself in search of other people's acceptance and approval."
― Roy T. Bennett,