To my sweet Amelia,
I still remember that day it all began; the day we found out it was cancer. My heart almost broke in two as the doctor’s voice uttered the dreadful news. I remember that distinct smell hospitals have when you and I were in that crisp white room alone.
I still remember the nice old lady across the hall, she was very sweet. She suffered from tuberculosis. With that lovely smile always on her face, you could never even notice she was ill. A really sweet one, she was, and kind, too.
Do you remember, Amelia? That old lady always talked to us when the nurses took her past us. She liked tulips, I remember, the purple ones. Remember we bought her a lovely bouquet, do you remember Darling? It was the last day we saw her.
I still remember that lovely smile, even though she knew she was going to die. Her frail hands were so shaky and pruned, but very delicate. Remember how much she envied us? I can still feel her gentle hand in mine, as she told me to look after you with all my heart.
Also that little boy, right next to our room? He had a brain tumour. A wild one, he was, with a very kind spirit. He always used to draw us those lovely little pictures, do you remember? He once drew us hand-in-hand, standing atop a cliff and looking out at the beautiful sunset over the sea.
But, his smile faded, too. We gave him a toy locomotive for his birthday, a bright red one with moving wheels and a little conductor peering his head out the window, holding onto his little cap. He was so happy that day, wasn’t he darling? His parents were there with him, I remember tears in their eyes and tender smiles on their faces.
The next day, that room was empty. I remember walking in, to find a little red locomotive on the bed with a hand-written note from the boy:
‘Thank you, Auntie Amelia, Uncle Harry,
for my birthday present. I loved it so much!
But, please don’t cry. I’m happy, and I want you two to be happy as well.
Love, Tim.’
I still remember those tears in your eyes. I had to wipe them away, remember? You were always a cry-baby, even on the day we first met.
I still remember that day, it was a warm summers day with exactly three clouds in the sky. I was going to the University with my books in hand, when all of a sudden, someone slammed into me in a hurry. My books went flying in all directions and mixed with their paperwork. I remember how long it took to gather the sheets and sort out my books, but the two of us began to talk and laugh.
We spoke of trivial things but, even if the topic was dry, that person always made me smile. Perhaps, it was because I had already fallen for them the very second they had contact with me. And I still love them.
That person, was you, Amelia. My pride and joy, the apple of my eye, my dearest love of all.
But all must part eventually, and our time seemed to have arrived earlier than others. But no matter where you are, or where I am, I will always think of you. Please promise me that you will think of me too?
For these past 5 months, you have been the one to stand by me, to support me, to love me. I love you more than anybody could ever imagine, and maybe even more. Do you remember when we went shopping for children’s clothes? You were so set on having a child, you wanted to be prepared! You always wanted a little boy, giving you a big cheesy grin with a hand full of freshly picked flowers and mud splashed on his face.
You always told me he would have your eyes and my smile, your hands and my feet, your heart and my mind. You were so set on having this wonderful, little child. My child and yours. Nobody else’s. Just ours.
So, enough of all this nostalgia, how are you Amelia? Are you doing well? Is your heart okay? Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I am doing alright. A little lonely, but alright.
It’s a strange place here, without you. You always brightened up my day, even when I had a hard day at University.
I miss you, my dear Amelia. I miss your hand and your smiling face. I hope you are still smiling. You always were a cry-baby; perhaps I have mentioned that before, dear?
Please don’t weep for our separation, or else I will cry too. You know how much of a softy I am when I see others cry, don’t you, dear?
I am short for time, so as I silently listen to the rhythmic beeps from the life machine and smile at your sleeping face, I too shall soon sleep.
But before that, I shall write this to you, my dear Amelia. If you ever get to read this letter; thank you. Thank you for standing by me, no matter what. Thank you for loving me, thank you.
I must sleep now, my dear Amelia. But please, I want you to promise me. Promise me that, when I am gone, please don’t cry.
Love, your one and only man,
Harry Johnson X
