Delicate - eng version

Learning To Live Again

Dear Teddy,
How are the wedding plans going? I can't believe it's been almost a month since we've spoken. I've really missed talking to you and I'm so sorry for my behaviour when I found out about your engagement – how about we call a truce? This silence between us is driving me crazy. I can't take both you and Dad ignoring me.
I don't know if you've heard about the goings-on here at Hogwarts. In case you haven't, I'll fill you in.

Firstly, as I'm sure you know, the entire school knows I'm pregnant. That of course includes Malfoy who has been avoiding me ever since I told him I'm putting the baby up for adoption. Not only that, but he and Dom are still going stronger than ever, something I find a bit strange, but I guess I'm okay with it if she's happy.

Mum's living in Hogsmeade at the minute. She pops up to the school every now and again, but I try to hide from her as much as possible out of the fear she'll try and force folic acid tablets down my throat again – these Muggle remedies are just too much for one girl to bear! But I suppose it's nice to know that she cares. It's more than I can say for Dad. I haven't seen nor heard from him since he was called into the school just after the news of my pregnancy came out. It's as if he's disowned me now, and I'm pretty much guessing that's why he and Mum have split up. I find myself listening to 'Papa Don't Preach' by Madonna more and more these days. I'm so close to insanity, I can practically touch it!

It seems like in the last few weeks I've become closer with James and Al than I'd ever thought possible. Of course Lily is absolutely fuming as a result – she hates me because she has a crush on Malfoy and I kind of accidentally told her that he'd never like her...my bad. I feel sort of bad that Al and Malfoy aren't as close as they once were. In the classes where Gryffindor and Slytherin are together, Al sits with me while Dom sits with Malfoy, because we're all too awkward around each other. It's awful – who knew a couple of minutes of sex would lead to such trouble? (Yes, I said a couple of minutes).

I've left the Quidditch team and am not playing the rematch against Slytherin, whenever that'll be. Some fifth year bloke is the reserve keeper so he'll be taking my place. I can tell he's really nervous – he goes really pale any time anybody mentions it to him. But I know he'll do just fine on the day...because if he doesn't, James will probably kill him.

Anyway, I've just realised that the majority of this letter is pointless small talk. I wish I knew what to say to make things right between us – I miss talking to you, Ted. I hope we can go back to how we were before I decided to be an immature idiot and complain that you didn't tell me first about your engagement. Friends?

Say hi to Victoire for me,
Love,
Rosie

Isn't it funny how time flies when you're having fun? Well, maybe "having fun" is a bit of an overstatement – time flies when your mind is so preoccupied with school, pregnancy, confusion and tension that you barely even notice that January has already slipped away and February is in full swing. That is until James Potter decides to remind me of the time of year.

"It's almost Valentine's Day!" says James, jumping down beside me on the couch in the common room while I'm trying to read my Potions homework, "Who are you giving your love to this year, Redness?"

"I'm sure there are just thousands of men queuing up outside the Gryffindor Tower right now to date the Moby Dick of Hogwarts," I say bitterly.

"Who's Moby Dick?"

"The whale...you've never read Moby Dick?" I sigh.

"Clearly not," James grins.

"Honestly, do you even know how to read?"

"Of course...but Mummy helps me with the big boy words."