his forgotten mate

CHAPTER 40

A/N: NOT EDITED... you may need a tissue...

Chapter 40 – Rainy POV

Slower. We'd have to go slower. Inch the children into new things. Right now we had been going at morph speed and the issues, the side effects were showing. Noticeable. Damaging. I slept worse here with freedom than I ever had in that basement. Things that had never happened were happening now, Kayla screaming bloody murder during the nights, never happened in the basement. Keith sleepwalking, heading for the stairs never happened, granted his foot was chained to a wall preventing it.

Me heading out after Chris... not something I thought would ever happen either but I had, not because he was my mate but there was a small part of me that wasn't blackened and damaged that remembered who he was too me. That part, small, teamed with who he had been since we've all been back, won over the scared ghost of myself. I had felt it, seen it, through him.

My mate.

What he had done to Tomas.

Logan blocked me, Chris however didn't. I saw how Tomas acted, what he said, I saw inside my mates head, his thoughts, how the anger and grief churned away at him until he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't handle the coldness that was inside of Tomas, the dirtiness that had been cultivated.

Chris' breaking point, an abuser crying for his child not to be hurt while he demeaned and abused others. He snapped. His mind went to a dark place that was darker, colder than any of the men eyes I've looked into.

I had once too been in that position. I was in that position. I just couldn't do what Chris had, nor would I want too. He thought himself a monster after, crumbling in the shower, weeping for us, begging for strength when I once thought he was the strongest person I knew, besides Logan.

.

.

.

"What has you so deep in thought?" Juliet asked me, trying to – to ... I don't know. I knew that talking would help, but the larger part of me wasn't ready to face it all just when I was released. "I'm thinking about Chris..."

"Anything in particular?"

"He castrated Tomas," I said monotone.

"Does that bother you?"

I thought about it, did his actions bother me? No. Yes. Not really. "I'm afraid of my answer," I whispered honestly.

"Why?"

"I don't ever want to be like one of those men, the ones that hurt us."

"DO you think Chris is like those men?"

My eyes flashed, I was instantly angry, she didn't know Chris, and he wasn't like those men at all, "No." I said my teeth gritting together.

"They some... made it a game to hurt us, watching, sometimes it was systematic. I don't want to turn around and do the same. I – I want them all to pay – pay for what they did to us, I do. But I don't want it done that way. I don't want to inflict pain physically on them." She didn't answer me right away or even make a comment on what I was saying. I knew what went on in that basement was wrong, that it deserved punishment but I guess I had my own idea of retribution.

"Have you spoken about this with Logan? Or Chris?"

"They wouldn't understand..." I shook my head, I don't think even I understood. I frowned avoiding her eyes, picking at the pants I was wearing.