Arcus // ATEEZ ✔

7: drawn in by the fire

The dark of the night wraps its ominous tendrils around her figure, enveloping her before it permeates into her skin, sinking in deeper as she caves in. The tears that she feels undeserving to fall from her eyes soak the upper part of her dress, feeling that even her own being is a disgrace, a person she does not and refuses to accept as herself. A princess who is brought high up due to her status yet looks down upon those who do not have the privilege to hold their heads up high.

She's been abusing her powers, yet here she is living in oblivion about her past, with the very people she made to suffer close to her.

Thinking about it after separating with Yunho, she can't look at Serim the same now that she knows she was the reason her mother died. Then it gets heavier when she thinks about Seonghwa and Serim, how things must be prickly between them, and it's all because of her. The obvious tension between the two of them too, did it stem from any topic that was related to her?

Her refusal to at least accept that it is who she is brings her to a state of restlessness, forcing her eyes to stay wide open when the world around her had turned quiet and paused for the night. Her eyelids flutter as her eyes look straight to the ceiling, and the nightgown she has on makes it feel as if she's been laid out on an open fire; even though the temperature around should have made her sleep soundly, safe under the covers.

After tossing and turning on her bed for what seems like a useless method to let herself drift off to sleep, she springs up with a silent scream before putting on her slippers. She throws open her wardrobe, sifts through her wide range of choices of clothes before she snatches one that's not on the hangers - one reason must be how it stands out from the rest, the dark colour of the material making it hard to be spotted if one were to look through in a hurry.

She unfolds the material, unsure of what kind of clothes would be presented to her. She doesn't turn up disappointed; the familiar image of a robe and matching shirt and pants tell her that this is what the past Princess Narae would wear when she wants to sneak out of the palace in the middle of the night, where she would want to be left alone instead of being trailed around by people tasked to protect her.

Unsure of whether her going out at night alone breaks any sort of rules in the palace - she can barely catch up with the protocols she learnt during her classes - she immediately takes herself out of the nightgown and puts on the garment, hiding her hair carefully underneath the hood of the robe.

Back when she had powers she would have probably just teleported herself to anywhere she wants to go without worrying about her route of escape, but now as she takes a peak through her door left slightly open, she thinks back to her choices of whether she would have to make a dash through the slithering hallways of the palace, or rather take the unconventional way and escape through the balcony of her room instead.

But as she takes a look over the railing, she shakes her head violently and retreats a few steps back. Fear of heights must still be embedded in her system, because apparently she was told that this was what she and her brother have in common too - both are scared of heights. She closes the door to the balcony, locks it carefully before putting her forehead against her double bedroom doors, thumping it softly using her head as if the slight rattling could organize her thoughts.

She needs to get out, get some fresh air, maybe think about how she should act from now. Repent, reflect? What if she gets her memories back someday and everything clashes again? The more she thinks about it in her room, the more she feels restless so without a second thought, she twists the doorknob to open the door before tumbling out into the hallway. Being caught - although still, the question whether she is actually going against the rules remains the same - by another person becomes a secondary thought as she runs as if her life depended on her feet finding solid ground outside.