The Advice Column IV

642

Advice Request
This person wants to know if they should bring up a past conflict again to resolve it.

Answered Submission
Hi there,

It's a very complicated matter because from your story, this fight suddenly starts out of nowhere with no obvious reason as to why it suddenly began. There are not many choices to pick from in this situation and all of then have their pros and cons.

1. Your sister can apologize directly for hurting them (about the harsh words) and tell them that she's interested in mending their relationship. However, the argument doesn't have to be brought up to details. It can be put behind and forget it ever happened. Yes, it's not satisfying because you're not in the wrong in the first place but from your story, I couldn't really see them wanting to talk it out properly.

2. Have a proper conversation with them about the fight, and it would be best if everyone involved is present physically. That way, no one can manipulate the real story behind what happened. Yes, it might cause more drama but if you feel like you want a closure and for everything to really be resolved, this might be the best way. Approach them and make it known to them that your sister just wants everything to resolve peacefully and to mend back broken relationships because both of them are important to you guys.

I'm not saying that your sister is in the wrong but it would be good if she can reflect back on the things that had happened before the fight that might have triggered it. It might not be your sister's fault but sometimes we hurt people accidentally and that might be the reason why they suddenly started attacking your sister but they decided to use other excuses instead of the real reason to hurt her.

3. If either of the previous choices still didn't resolve everything, I would advise for you guys to just keep it civil and continue with your life as if nothing had happened. Don't approach them if there's nothing important. Yes, you may want them to still be in your lives but when they're not being cooperative about it, there's nothing much that we can do about it. Things don't always go our way and people come and go in our life, even family.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck and please stay safe.

Love,
The Advice Column Team
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