Bitter Sweet | ✓ (rewriting)

02 • malal | ملال

•| grief |•

•••
jeena muhaal hai, esa khayaal hai
jeena filhal hai, kal par sawaal hai 
•••

Huddled up together two people spoke in hushed voices as they eyed the forsaken letter that had the last imprint of the dead man. The letter was meant to be delivered to Fidah, but the contents of it were surely alarming to say the least.

"Laiq, we simply can't give it to her now. She isn't emotionally stable." Reem exclaimed frustrated as she threw her hands in the air exasperated at the older man.

"Reem, samaj ne ki koshish karo. Ye Khalu ki aakhri nishani hain. Fidah ki amanat. Hum usse ye kaise chupa sakte hai. She deserves to know." The man, Laiq Abdullah Durrani. Fidah's maternal cousin coaxed.

(Try understanding. This is the last memento from Uncle. Fidah's Tutelage. How can we hide this from her?)

"Mujhe kuch samajhna nahi hai. Kuch to ghairat karlo, uski halat theek nahi hai." Reem asserted, not paying heed to any of his words.

(I don't want to understand anything. Have some shame, she's don't in her right mind.)

Sighing, Laiq motioned towards the maid asking her to call Fidah for dinner. 

Grief comes in waves, at first they are so strong you feel so swept away. They come at such random moments, replacing a feeling of normalcy with those familiar tears. It had been five days since the passing away of her Baba and Fidah was a living corpse. Even though for the most part of her life her father was away because of being in the army, the thought of not being able to spend those few precious moments again with him brought indescribable grief to her soul. Her only Waalid was gone. Would she even be able to go back to her usual sane routine?

"Fidah Baaji?" The maid, Rushna, called out knocking on the door.

Fidah's swollen eyes drifted towards her for a moment's time before she went back to staring at empty space.

"Baaji, Chote saab aap ko khane ke liye bula rahe." 

(Sister, Sir is calling you for eating.)

"Mujhe nahi khana, Rushna." Fidah mumbled burying her head between her knees.

(I don't want to eat.)

"Baaji aese kab tak chalega, aapki tabiyat bigar jayegi." The young maid pleaded looking at her mistress in pity.

(How long will you go on like this? You'll spoil your health.)

Just then, Laiq entered the room dismissing the girl and closing the door behind him.

"Tumhara kya marne ka irada hai? Kyu khana nahi kha rahi?"

(Have you planned to die? Why aren't you eating?)

Fidah jerked her head up in an instant as she heard her cousin's familiar voice. She had last seen him on the day of her Baba's funeral. He had done all the arrangements for the Janazah but after that he hadn't shown his face until today.

"Why are you concerned about my wellbeing now?"

Laiq's face froze in an instant as he fisted his palms that lay to his sides tightly.

"Kuch zaroori kaam the, mashroof ho gaya tha. Maaf kardo." 

(Some important work was there, I became busy. Forgive me.)