The Coffee Pact

8| Not just a pretty face

On Friday, Jake invites me to my first ever football game. He claims it's so that we can study straight after, but I know it's a terrible idea.

Football games mean big crowds. Countless faces. What if someone has watched the video and recognizes me? What if the people who attacked me in the first place are there? I've managed to avoid social situations thus far, but now I'm at a crossroads.

I discuss my options with Priya at lunch. In Jake's mind, me going to his game makes sense. Now that his essay is starting to get going, it's time that we do some actual research. That means swapping The Coffee Pod for the town's local library, which has a much better WiFi connection.

With the library only being a two-minute walk from school, it means we can head there straight after the game without wasting any time. But The Coffee Pod is familiar to me–the library isn't. And watching Jake play football feels like we are stepping away from 'tutor and student' to something else entirely.

"Well, I kinda think it would be nice to go," Priya says.

I stop eating to look at her. "Since when do you like football?"

She shrugs and steals a carrot from my plate. "I just think it would be nice to see what we've been missing out on. We never go to games, Mia. We never go to parties. We never go to dances. What if this whole time, we've been missing out on all the fun?"

I stare back blankly. I've never had even the tiniest bit of interest in any of those things, and neither has Priya, but it suddenly hits me that maybe I'm not the only one who's changed this summer. Maybe Priya has, too.

"Okay," I say. "We'll go to the game."

She smiles and steals another carrot. I sit back in my chair, glancing across the cafeteria to Jake. He's sitting by Alice and the rest of his friends, his laughter so loud, I can hear it from here. I used to find it obnoxious, but I don't anymore; it must be nice to feel that happy.

***

Later that evening, Priya and I sit with the rest of the chumps, waiting for the game to finish. I keep waiting for a touchdown or a brawl between the teams, but all that happens is Jake and his team keep running back and forth in a way that makes my eyes hurt.

I look over my shoulder, scanning the hundreds of faces around us, because a part of me is certain I'll see one of my attackers hiding in the crowd. My adrenaline is pumping, my anxiety going a mile a minute when I should be focused on the game.

"Hey," Priya says, squeezing my arm, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I pull my hood around me to shield the biting cold. "This is even more boring than fishing, and that's saying something."

"I don't know," Priya says. "I kind of like it. Those jersey shoulder pads make them all look like superman, and look at the cheerleaders."

She's right, while the game itself is ridiculously boring, Jake does look good in his black and white jersey. I sigh and rub my hands back and forth. "It's cold. Who plays football in the cold?"

Priya takes off a glove and passes it over, allowing me to slip it on. "You're going to hate me for saying this," she says, "but I think Jake Carpenter invited you because he has a crush on you."

I'm about to tell her not to be so ridiculous, but then near the end of the game, Jake searches the crowd. His eyes land on mine, and he does something I never thought he'd do in front of others: he waves.

My heart races the way it did when I first quit coffee. I look behind me, praying he's directing his wave at someone else, but the person behind me is a middle-aged man.

After the game, I hover around for Jake to finish while Priya heads home. Finally, he and the rest of his team walk towards me, and I spot Jake lagging with Alice.

Jake notices me and walks a little faster. He throws an arm around my shoulder, and when he peers down at me, his eyes are bright and full of excitement–it's kind of cute.

Then I look behind him at the rest of his teammates, who are all staring like I've grown three heads. "Uh, Jake," I whisper. "What are you doing?"

The grin he gives me sends my heart soaring. "Saying hello to my favorite tutor."

I'm about to ask him just what is going on here when the penny drops. Alice is stood watching us, and even though Jake has his arm around me, it is her he keeps looking at.

"Wait," I whisper, looking at Jake. "Are you using me to make Alice jealous?"

Once again, he's the picture of innocence. "Of course not."

I wriggle from his grip and shoot him a look. "You're the worst," I say, and then I hotfoot it away from him, ignoring his calls for me to stop.

My night has been so spectacularly crappy that I end up at the coffee house. I wish I could give in to my urges and order my espresso, but I refuse to give Jake the satisfaction. Instead, I order a hot chocolate and muffin and sit down to sketch.

I figured Jake would be busy relishing in his glory, but half an hour later, he walks in. He scans the coffee house and grins when he sees me.

"Look, don't be mad," he says, slipping into the armchair opposite.

I ignore him and carry on sketching. I don't know why I'm so surprised by this. It is the exact kind of thing I'd expect someone like him to do. "I'm not mad."

He rolls his eyes like he's heard this before. "Let me guess, just disappointed?"

For a second, I think I see something different in his eyes. Something helpless. In the next moment, it's gone. "To be disappointed I would have to care, and I don't." I finally look up. "I've been trying to do you a favor here, Jake. I'd appreciate it if you stopped making it so difficult."

He scoffs at this. "You're not doing me a favor, Hope. A favor would be doing something for someone for free, out of the goodness of your heart." He raises an eyebrow like he's figured me out. "You don't have one, remember?"

"What, do you write down everything I say or something?"

He grins and leans across the table towards me, looking straight at me. "Look, it was a dick move. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

I don't want to forgive him, but it's hard to say no to that face. This must be how he gets away with so much. "Look." I sigh. "Do you want to go to the library? The sooner we pull your grades up, the sooner we can end this arrangement."

He shrugs and leans back. "Ready when you are."

I finish the rest of my hot chocolate and muffin. "And for the record," I say, "if Alice is the kind of girl who tells you that you're not deep enough for her, and then gets jealous when you hug another girl, she's not the kind of girl you want. And I don't even think she is that kind of girl, which means this is all in your head, Jake. You can't handle being rejected to the extent you're hounding the poor girl."

He looks at me, hurt. "I'm not hounding her. Shit, Hope. You make me sound like a stalker or something. If she doesn't like me, why does she keep kissing me?"

My heart stills. "She does?"

"Yeah." He furrows his eyebrows and looks at his hands. "The problem is, that's all she ever wants to do. I'm more than just my good looks, you know?"

"Sure you are. Can we go?" I ask.

He frowns and stands up, so I put on my coat. When we make it to the door, I'm about to pull the handle when he gets there before me, holding it open. I hide my surprise and utter a thank you before stepping into the snow.