Prologue

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Prologue

He wasn't sure why he was afraid of talking to his husband.

He was never afraid of talking to his husband.

Yet, there he stood outside those massive steel doors, wishing he could just turn tail and sprint down the hall, out of the capitol building, and right back up the mountain to their mansion so he could hide under the blankets.

Maybe it was because, somehow, he knew what was going to come out of his mouth. He knew what his husband was going to say to him, but he felt this insane urge to try. In fact, he'd felt the urge to sit his husband down and talk to him about... having children, for a while now.

It was insane, he knew that.

After all, children? That was a huge step, especially for the both of them. While most of their friends and family had children of their own, it was a different story to have their own children. If someone had asked him ten years ago if he wanted children, he would've laughed and said he was happy as everyone's aunty. But that was just it; he loved children. He loved buying gifts, playing with them, watching them play and explore the world, and grow into actual people with their own opinions and goals. Gods, it was an adventure he wanted to have with them.

And, it was nice; being everyone's favorite aunty. Especially for his niece. He loved buying her presents, taking her to exotic places on the islands, listening to her adventures as she grew older. She'd grown from a rambunctious little girl to a beautiful young female so fast, so well. But now she'd outgrown his gifts, his little stories, her little outfits. She was a person with her own thoughts and feelings, and he loved that for her. At the same time, his heart ached because he was watching all of this happen to her from afar.

He wanted to raise his own children. He wanted to join them closer on their journey to adulthood. He wanted to affect someone's life like a parent. He wanted to love, hold, cradle, wipe away tears. Hell, he was ready for straight up temper tantrums. Lords knew his husband had his own special kind.

But that was just it.

The roadblock to this fantasy of having children.

His husband.

And he hated thinking of him like that.

He adored his husband. The male was so much more than just a husband to him. He was a gift of the Source, his soulmate, his pet, his best friend.

But he wasn't stupid either. His husband had a lot of issues. Granted, he did incredibly well over the years in dealing with most of his issues, but if there was one issue his husband hadn't let up on, it was his extreme discomfort with children. Even to his own niece, he treated her with caution. Especially now that she was grown.

According to his husband, children were just as cruel and twisted as adults. They just got away with it better because they were children. It made sense he would feel that way considering the way he grew up, but he still couldn't see the kindness and love in his niece. It was heartbreaking.

He never hugged his niece, never cradled her, never told her he loved her. As a child, she adored swinging around him and dancing at his feet, dressing him up and having tea parties with him, even though he sat stone still with a stern face the whole time.

And it was even more heartbreaking as his niece gave up on trying to befriend him. As she grew older, she stepped back from playing with him and now, she rarely spoke to him, barely spared him a glance.

It brought tears to Akin's eyes as he stood outside the door, his arms folded tightly over his chest. He swallowed thickly, lowering his head.

It'd been about nine years since Amenti had last spent time with Hannibal. She certainly seemed to understand Hannibal's apprehensiveness, but she wasn't going to actively pursue him as an uncle any further. It made Akin want to weep. Amenti was such a beautiful, friendly, and wonderful female. She adored her family, followed her fathers everywhere, even as an adult. She defended both of them to the death. And she defended Hannibal too, but she would never go near him, if for nothing more than to avoid making him uncomfortable.

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