Crossroads

Chapter 6

Lincoln

"It's the perfect symbiosis, a dangerous compound that could mean my immediate death, and still I have never felt more alive."

PAST

When I wake up the first thing I notice is the heavenly fragrance surrounding me. The strong scent of vanilla and cherry fills my nostrils, and I catch myself taking a deep breath to inhale it, savor it and lock it into the biggest fucking safe ever, because shit - I feel like I'm in heaven.

The second thing I notice is the pain in my right hand, which I can't properly inspect right now due to the petite brunette girl lying in my arms, her face buried against my chest where she fists my shirt tightly. I watch as her chest rises and falls, watch how she scrunches her nose when some stray hairs tickle it, and I come to the conclusion that this cannot be reality. She is by far the most beautiful girl I have ever met. No exceptions. And it just seems unreal.

Even in her sleep she looks so goddamn stunning, her sunkissed skin radiating in the morning glow, her plump red lips slightly parted as she inhales quietly. I swear, it's like I'm in a fucking dream. It almost feels like someone's trying to play mind games with me, because I have absolutely no idea how I went from jumping off a bridge to lying in this girl's bed with her in my arms.

I feel humiliated by how I acted yesterday. I don't cry. I don't break down. I don't drink too much. I'm not violent to the point where I break a glass of vodka in my hand.

My hand, which got me into this mess in the first place, and which took twelve years to master its art.

Stupid, Lincoln. Absolutely fucking imbecile level of stupid.

But I did it, and now I'm here. I'm still surprised by the way she acted last night. She was pretty hostile to me at first, but after I woke her up with my madness there was something much more gentle about her, even though she does not seem like the kind of woman that does gentle all too often.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she actually did all of that for me. Not only did she stop me from ending my life, but then she invited me into her home, helped me clean up my wounds, and finally she even let me into her bed. She even fucking kissed me, goddamnit.

And what a goddamn brilliant kiss that was. I felt like I needed it, and it seemed like she knew. She just dove into my soul, straight into the abyss of my mind. Her lips were gasoline, reigniting that fire inside of me that has turned into embers when all this shit started.

"Good morning." Her voice sends me out of my thoughts and I tilt my head downwards, seeing that she still has her eyes closed as she yawns against my chest.

"Good morning..." Fuck, I have no idea how to act right now. I'm not this awkward, weak man. I'm confident, maybe even a little arrogant. Or at least that's how I was. No idea why I'm not that man around her.

And honestly, it feels like I don't know who I am anymore. My life has slipped out of my grasp and I just watched and watched and watched until finally, it fell into the pits of this godforsaken hell.

"You hungry?" She asks as her eyes slowly open, and I swear I feel the breath knock out of my lungs from this fucking storming ocean in her irises.

"Not really." Is all I can answer because my head is all over the place right now, and she just nods her head at that, a slim smile on her lips as she massages her eye sockets with the balls of her hands, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

To my surprise she cuddles closer to me just for a minute, she even looks like this is just a normal day for her, like I've always woken up next to her and like she has been cuddled in my arms for the majority of her time. It's a nice feeling, really.