Open up (18+ Only)

Chapter 25

The healing process take time, you can not wake up and decided that you have healed or maybe take a few months to heal and I have decided to take my time on everything and process the life I'm living. I'm not afraid anymore or maybe I am but I'm gonna get through all and heal from what I can't speak about. In order to be happy one has to live life for themselves and it will all work out in the end if it doesn't then it's not yet the end. The greatest thing about falling is that you know you have to stand up and move on and that's what I have been trying to do. Move on from sadness, move on from pain and move on from all the things that make me feel like shit. It takes courage to live the life I live, sometimes you just wanna wake up dead and that seems like it's not going to happen. You think maybe committing suicide is the solution to end all pain but sometimes think about those that will be hurt in the process and those that will miss you and don't go through with it but still you are hurting and those you protecting can't see that you slowly dying and can't notice the pain you in or going through. Sometimes you want to do it but there is always something stopping you or you think what if it all goes wrong and end up being damaged permanently, like not being able to have kids or something in your body did not need the substance than you'll have to suffer you whole after. Decisions are meant to be taken but at the end of the day we all have to live with them. Forgiveness, forgiving all the people who have hurt you and lead to your breakdowns is one of the progress you make, forgive them but not forget what they did and don't repeat the same mistake as you did. It's been a weeks now and I have told Craig it's okay to go back to his own life and we talked about the kisses and more of what we did and we thought why not give our thing a shot and see where it will all end up.

"Luna, you said 5 minutes let's go" Selena said impatiently before holding my hand and we were going to just chill at the park. I'm a year and a half bigger than her but she's just spoiled and she was there and we were trying to build some sort of relationship and I don't mind. Well with my mother things are still the same and we went to the park seats because it was more cool and the energy was always good.

"So you gonna tell me about your boyfriend?" Looking at her with one eyebrow and she looked away blushing

"He is cute and I like him" that's all she said  and doesn't want to spill the beans but I'll wait for her "you haven't spoken about Craig lately" and it's true because he is always busy and maybe we should have build the relationship

"He's too busy lately, we hardly spend time" I sigh and look away.

"Call him" she said while taking my phone out of her bag "now" she said and for some damn reason I scrolled in my contact list and dialed his number

Ring

Ring

Ring

"Luna?" He said in his deep voice and heart skipped a bit and could mutter a word but realized I just miss him "Baby, you okay?" His voice raised concern

"Hi, I just miss you" I said in a sad voice and could hear his heavy breath through the line

"I miss you too but I'm really busy" he spoke impatiently

"Cool" I said and dropped the call and could see pity all over Selena's eyes but choose to ignore it, a few weeks I told him that it was better if we broke up because he had no time for me and he insisted and told me that it will all go away and he does call every now and then but don't spend time like we used to and I miss that. It was getting late and we went home made some food and I asked Selena to come back to the room and she just declined without any reason saying that she wants me to have my own space, the excuse didn't convince me but I wasn't going to push her.