Beauty to Ashes

Chapter 5

The return of consciousness was just like the instantaneous outpouring of water from a dam. Her awareness of the vast darkness slowly returned. Then, the rest of her senses came crashing back. 

Pain, sadness... and then the crushing sorrow that threatened to rip her entire chest apart.

As it turned out... she didn't die. Because with death, the pain would cease to exist.

Jin Xiu remained silent. Suddenly, her lips twitched and her fingers trembled. It was then that she realized that someone was holding her hand.

The bitter smell of medicine permeated the air around her. It was warm and familiar, allowing her to feel a sense of peace.

She crooked her head slightly, and then her fingers moved once again. The hand that held her also moved slightly.

The hand exerted just the right amount of strength. Not too hard and not too light, not too forceful and not too fleeting. It didn't impart sadness either. This grip was very familiar to her, because during her long-drawn elope, during those countless days and nights, she had been led by this hand. Warmly and tenderly guiding her forward.

Chen Ruo would not do this. He would grab her, and even if she struggled, he would maintain a death grip on her, causing her hand to hurt.

Such a perfect grip, he never once gave to her.

In actuality, this was probably a sign? In Dayue, she was his superior, and in Chen Country, he was her emperor.

So, her smile became even more brilliant. The corners of her lips ached without warning. It must have been because she had sustained some injuries as she was being dragged out, for a simple smile had inflicted so much pain.

Her throat was not parched and there was the lingering taste of sweet water in her mouth. From the looks of it, she had been taken care of incomparably well.

Jin Xiu tightened her grip over that pair of hands again. She called out gently, "Ah Lan..." After that, she was suddenly embraced. That youth held her back, his long and slender fingers trembling slightly, causing her skin to tingle.

Even though it was so stimulating, this hug didn't seem inappropriate at all. His embrace was perfect, with just the right amount of warmth and comfort.

She yielded her head to his shoulders, before slowing shutting her eyes. She mumbled and called out for Ah Lan, before gradually slipping into a deep slumber.

Ah Lan kept watching over her by the side. He only loosened his hand after waiting for her breathing to stabilize and after summoning a doctor to confirm that she had not fallen into unconsciousness again.

He carefully covered her with a quilt before tucking in the corners of the blanket. He watched over her for a long time, harboring both tenderness and dejection.

The red glow of the candlelight cast shadows on all four walls. In the quietness and fading light, her face was as pale as snow, and her breathing was shallow and weak.

It was as though she could die at any moment.

Ah Lan stared at her helplessly, before burying his face. The Chen Country of the present was ruled over by one person, and this youth who surpassed thousands of others was now as helpless as a child.

Jin Xiu would slip in and out of unconsciousness and she only recovered slightly when the eighth month arrived. She was able to sit upright on her own to take her medication and hold short conversations with the maidservants who attended to her. By the end of the month, she was able to walk. She was halfway towards a complete recovery.

Chen Lan would visit her in her room every day. However, he had no idea what to talk to her about. Instead, he brought food for her stubbornly every day, before taking out the leftovers.

Jin Xiu did not speak either. She only smiled at him every time he stopped by, before slowly finishing her food. However, this was already beyond Chen Lan's expectations. He had initially assumed that she would not even be able to stomach her food, just like in the past.

After hearing him vocalize his surprise, the girl who had been sipping her tea flashed a faint smile. Her sightless eyes turned accurately to face him and she slowly closed her eyes. "In the end, we all need to live on..."

From the moment she woke up, Jin Xiu had not shed a single tear. She behaved as though there was nothing out of the ordinary. Her smile was normal, and even her speech was normal. She spoke of Chen Ruo like a distant childhood friend, and whenever she was bored, she would play the zither or tease the birds. She even implored the gardener in charge of the residence to teach her how to care for the flora and fauna. However, in spite of all these formalities, the moment she turned her back, that frail and delicate silhouette would emanate an inexplicable sense of fragility. It was as though she had channeled all her mental and physical strength to hold herself together. Such a Jin Xiu rendered Chen Lan helpless as he stood behind her, not knowing how to comfort her.

Comfort in any form or shape would merely be a fabricated delusion.

At the end of the ninth month, Jin Xiu had more or less recovered completely from her ailment. Chen Lan asked her what she planned to do next.

Ever since Jin Xiu eloped, her father had not written any imperial edicts that demanded her capture. Instead, he had excused her, stating that she had left the palace to recuperate from an illness. If Jin Xiu wanted to return, she would be able to. Hence, Chen Lan asked her whether she wanted to return to Dayue. That girl merely flashed a faint smile, before shaking her head.

"Fleeing back to my homeland because of failure? A princess of Dayue would not be so shameless."

Chen Lan remained silent for a few minutes. Then he told her - the day that he rescued her from the burial field, Chen Ruo did not know. He asked if she wanted to let him know. At this point, Jin Xiu chuckled.