Risk It All (l.s)

2.

(A/N: If you haven't read "The Reunion" SMAU on my twitter (tomlingrin) it might be hard to follow but here's the first chapter. The screenshots are actually from the SMAU itself as it's following the timeline from there)

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There had been a significant amount of warning before the news dropped, and even with the weeks of mental preparation, there wasn't any amount of time to prepare for the reality. There was less than a 24-hour time frame before there was no choice other than to stand in front of the man he left in his wake five years ago. There hadn't been a single day, hour or minute that his brain wasn't plagued by the haunting image of cerulean filled with waves of salty tears. The cracked voice that whispered for him to stay, and the lingering feeling of calloused fingertips gripping his wrist; attempting to anchor him and make him stay. The name still left an acidic taste in his mouth and burnt his oesophagus. It's the same name that spreads that awful feeling of rage, heartbreak and sadness through his veins, surging at full speed to every corner of his soul. It had been five years since he had seen him face to face and had never witnessed the physical damage of his actions. And even with the weeks of accepting it was coming.... he wasn't ready.

The August heat was finally beginning to drop, although the high humidity still lingered; thick and threatening to furl around his neck and strangle him. The mixture between the unbearable heat and the swarming panic was a recipe for disaster. The only relief was the rain that fell heavily against his skin; offering a temporary wash of coolness to battle his heat exhausted skin. Although stuck in his own thoughts and relishing in the momentary peacefulness of the rain, Harry could hear his manager yelling from the safety of the plane, telling him to keep dry and not make himself sick.

"You are responsible for maintaining balance in this world, so if you don't mind. Can you get your ass inside the plane and stop letting yourself get pelted by the rain?" The voice shrieks and Harry closes his eyes. He tilts his head backwards, face illuminated by the dull sky and droplets splatter onto his face. Harry holds his arm out, welcoming the cold gusts of wind and near-frozen droplets of water, lips turning in the corners into a suppressed grin. "Are you insane?!"

There are only approximately 20 more seconds of becoming more drenched by the rains increasing force until he feels a pair of arms wrap around him and (too) forcefully pull him into the dry, warm safety of inside the plane. Harry doesn't say a word, but rather pulls off his now wet coat and drops it to the floor, casually glancing towards his scowling manager and then turns on his heel towards his designated spot towards the back of the plane. Once seated in his chair, body completely sunken into the soft leather and eyes trained on the onslaught of rain on the outside of the plane, he feels the vibration of his phone in his pocket. And this wouldn't have caused a second of stress on any other day, except he was fairly sure he knew what it was. He was waiting for the moment the news broke and was waiting for the reaction of the world and the fans; the same fans that thought it was supposed to be 18 months. And it originally was supposed to be. It had been organised and planned for it to be a complete hiatus from the spotlight, writing and touring and give them a well-deserved rest after being non-stop for 5 years. Except 18 months had turned into 5 years, and it was no one's fault but his own. The others, Niall and Liam, had reached out trying to make something happen but most of the time the calls or texts were left unanswered. Because he knew the conversation would happen, the conversation of the question's he has dodged for 5 years.

It was clear they knew what had happened because Louis would have told them everything. Why wouldn't he? He has every right to tell the others why their career as a band was not going to continue. The only issue is that they've only heard it from Louis' side, and not once from Harry's. And Harry wasn't prepared to talk about it, and he won't ever talk about it. Because some things are better off left in the dark.