My iPod's Account
It's beautiful and horrifying that we all see the same things in life, but interpret them in different ways. Our perception of things reflect our personalities and mold our attitudes.
I'm never quite sure as to how other people will judge me. I expect it, I accept, I respect it--and yet it can still give me anxiety to think of all the different aspects and details of me people will notice and focus on the most. And how will they react? Will they accept all the obvious negative characteristics to search for the greater good? Or will they never make it past the dark lining that drapes my soul? that poisons our minds?--that blinds our eyes from the whole?
Judgement: it is what I seem to yearn for and fear at the same time. I'm so curious as to what the other people perceive of me, yet so scared. What if… what if… I've never been self aware? That there's more to me--physically and mentally, that I have yet to discover?
What if I've known it all, but my attitude is too pessimistic, or--God forbid!--optimistic. I try so hard to be aware of my body and it's ratio to other's. I need to be able to balance my positive and negative characteristics to appeal to others, and I might appeal to myself.
Ah, they tell us to be acceptant of ourselves. But what if I shouldn't? But what if I need that motivation to push myself to be greater--or to finally just be good?
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