｡･:*:･ﾟ☆Jojo★｡･:*:･ﾟ

Hi, it's been months since I last wrote anything for Wattpad or for myself. I don't want to be the stereotype for "my dad died and I was there from begging to end and watched it play out, and now I have a hard time writing," well, that's me. My therapist says, I should write how I feel, but how can I; when I'm not motivated to write. Yeah, I get it, hard and depressing, but here I am writing how I feel. So, I guess it's not hard to open yourself to others to describe how you feel. The hard part is writing an imaginative world straight out of fiction and putting it on paper. Meanwhile, the self-guilt and self slow thing for not having finished writing your first ever novel in say...almost 5 years. Well, I think I'll leave it here, for now.

Thanks for following me

How would you feel if your mother just up and tells you, “I think it’s best if you don’t come out to your father for a long time even after he gets discharged from the hospital. You know how he stereotypes lesbians and gays, that because they’re gay they can’t have kids, and that’ll make him sad.” I’m like, speechless, but head is spinning with thoughts like, “what the fuck about my feelings! I should live my fucking best version of myself! If he can’t accept me for who I am, then fuck him! Are you going to defend me when the time comes? Cause it sure as hell feels like you won’t. I thought you had my back. I thought you loved me for who I was. I thought it was going to be ok to come out to my father a little after he gets discharged from the hospital. Is this the example you want to give me? What do you really care for? Who are you trying to protect? Am I a fucking disease? Don’t you want me to be me and happy?”
          
          I don’t know what to tell my mother. I’m disappointed in her. So fucking disappointed.
          
          I’m here at the hospital not trying blow my head off and cry and scream.

Seriously, the hot and new books on Wattpad looks like a milk thigh novel spread! Lol wtf!
          
          Anyway… (side eye judging Wattpad) my dad is feeling better, he’s still in the hospital and will be for a while. We hope he recovers faster and better every day. He’s moving his legs, stretching his knees and feet, even trying to walk a bit with help from his physical therapist or a strong male nurse. He eats by himself and laughs everyday, even his dietician gave him a fruit popsicle last night, and his face said pure bliss. Lol Every improvement helps him further the betterment of his health, and our hearts are set at ease.

Dad is really sick. I’m at the hospital taking the shift while mom and sis work and rest at home. Tomorrow is another day and it’ll be their turn.
          
          Take care of your health and stay safe.

I rewrote, revised a short biography I unpublished about my journey to find myself, and republished it because my therapist assigned me to do so. She gave me three things to do: publish the short story about myself and write a follow up for this year (which I haven't yet, but I will), find a community center, and tell someone in person whom I trust about my true self.
          
          Here's to republishing my short biography.

So, you probably haven't noticed, but I changed my username! I'm now @Jonah_M_Manor :') Goodnight and stay safe.

I might unpublish my work on Tapas and leave a few chapters of Rayel here in blank. Of course, I noticed some added my book to their reading list, but the book isn't finished. I'm working on a few chapters of the book, but haven't published because I would much rather finish writing it first. :')
          
          I hope everyone is doing well. I guess this is called surviving.

There is a price for your silence.
          
          What price did you pay for your silence? That's something to think about.

Been busy going to my late Grandmother's beach condominium with my Mom and big sister. We cleaned out about 9 bags of construction bags filled with garbage and used foggers to exterminate the place. Arrived at home and the AC unit cleaning company would come the next day, right... I moved my furniture for easy access cleaning and I fucked up my left knee. It's swollen and tight. I'm icing it, heating it, resting it and taking ibuprofen. Let's hope it gets better. Ugh!
          
          How has your weekend been?