ColdFirePlace

Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
          Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
          Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
          Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
          Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
          Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!

ColdFirePlace

Trisha: Hi, is Napoleon there?
          Napoleon Dynamite: Yes.
          Trisha: Can I talk to him?
          Napoleon Dynamite: You already are. 
          
          Kip: So, how long are we takin' about workin'?
          Uncle Rico: What? Are you? you're already losing your steam?
          Kip: No. I just? I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. I gotta be back here by then.
          Uncle Rico: All right, you just start a little earlier. That's all.
          Kip: All right.
          Uncle Rico: Or else work afterwards. How long's the chat room?
          Kip: Geez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe... maybe not. I don't know.
          Uncle Rico: You... you? you pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you're on, like, for minutes on the phone?
          Kip: Yeah. Grandma's still payin' per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long.
          Uncle Rico: I'll bet she does. I'll tell you something, I'd be throwin' you out the window. 
          
          Kip: So when's grandma coming back?
          Uncle Rico: I don't know. Not sure.
          Napoleon Dynamite: You don't have to stay here with us, we're not babies.
          Uncle Rico: Ha ha! Talk to your Auntie Carolyn.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Kip is like 32 years old.
          Kip: I don't mind if you stay. 
          
          Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally. 
          
          Trisha: I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me.
          [through gritted teeth]
          Trisha: It's hanging in my *bedroom*.
          Napoleon Dynamite: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
          Trisha: Yeah... it's really... neat.