_himeros_

Hello babes, 
          	
          	I want to clear some things up.
          	
          	I’ve read what you all have had to say and I appreciate the feedback and support. I want to make sure you are all aware of next steps.
          	
          	I will not be uploading the website or updating the books at this time.
          	
          	When it came to the week I publishing I realized I would be drawn back into not only maintaining, paying, and housing a new website but I would still be having to write and update even when I no longer felt connected to any of it. It would be another year of dealing with copyright, fighting for my books to stay up, dealing with Wattpad and then an entire website. I would be back to dealing with plagiarizers and rude readers and dms about how terrible I was while dealing with my life falling apart at the seams. All of these things and interactions, slowly picked away at my passion to write. Wattpad had become toxic from me and despite me wanting to separate from Himmy, I would have no choice if i decided to upload.
          	
          	So I chose what was best for me.
          	
          	You are allowed to feel angry, sad, betrayed, disappointed, I understand and don’t negate your emotions and how you are feeling from the news. I knew above all else, I couldn’t put myself fully back into this world when I’m not mentally 100% okay. I can’t be in the hospital one day and updating the next or dealing with depression and forcing myself to update because people say I’m horrible or a liar. Last year was the worst year of my life and I’m sorry I couldn’t keep the promises I made but I hope you know I tried.
          	
          	I love you all so much no matter what. I’m sorry if sharing my story and previous trauma felt like a trauma dump to make you forget or to have an excuse. I just wanted to be truthful with how I was feeling. My mental health is the biggest reason why I am stepping away and I knew I had to be honest with my reasons.
          	
          	I hope you can understand.

ifyouseemehereudidnt

@_himeros_ get back well soon my lovely writer im in a awe of your creation till the day the time stops
• Reply

deformedwaffle0

@_himeros_ I just saw a comment further down about Himmy's announcement to stop writing all together. It took me some time to realize this, but yall I think she's done for good. No more Beg for it, no more Kill for it, no more anything. This is the end of an era. 
          	  
          	  I just wanted to say I am so happy to have come across your page. I discovered Wattpad in 2020 and your books were some of the first I came across. Your writing always sounded poetic, like art even. Your characters were always so dynamic and complex. Estrella, Vee, Silas...it felt as though they were real people with real emotions. Your writing helped me recognize my own passion for writing, and has inspired me to write my own books. I am praying for you and hope that you heal someday from your trauma!! Even if you never return to Wattpad, I wish you all the best in life!
• Reply

SilevethNemirel

@_himeros_ I haven't read your books yet, but I fully understand what you're going through. I hope you have people to talk about this to. If not, I would be most happy to chat.
          	  I've burnt myself out writing in the past. I would feel forced by expectations to finish a page a day, but eventually ran on empties. I struggled more and more, and with less frequent updates came more complaints. I let it get to the point where I simply can't write anymore. Not for a crowd anyway. I haven't finished a story since the one that broke me, well over 10 years ago by now. And when I do write, it's for ME. And if I decide to upload it, it's been written well over a year ago and not bound to change. 
          	  I hope that when/if you do return, you can find joy in it once more. I'm sad the community became this toxic. Of course, there are many good people out there, but the harsh comments always seem to hit so much harder.
          	  
          	  Feel proud. Proud that you are capable of putting yourself first. That takes an immense amount of strength, and if you master it, you will be a force to be reckoned with.
          	  You got this. You do you.
• Reply

merosium

KILL GOR IT </3 
          This book got deleted by wattpad. This book was my favourite book and will be forever. I cried after seeing this today (10-05-2024) that the book is gone. 
          I MISS YOU SM  - I LOVE YOU SM 
          MAMA HIMMY <3

FoReverIsENDing

this message may be offensive 
Hello Lovelies!
          
          Some people are still looking for updates to Himmys books, and others are coming back looking for Beg For It. I'm gonna go over both topics in a few messages. This one covers Himmy's decision to stop writing.
          
          Himmy is no longer on break. In fact, she has decided to stop writing altogether. On July 29th, Himmy posted an announcement here on her board explaining that she was done writing on Wattpad because she is healing from the trauma that drove her to write as a coping mechanism and no longer feels the need to escape her life through a persona. It's easier for you to find the whole message on her Instagram- himeros_author. Some quotes from it:
          
          "I looked up from my laptop and found that I was still that hurt little girl looking for home but trapped in a woman's body. Someone I didn't recognize or know.
          
          It wasn't until I was trying to write Kill For It and edit Beg For It that I realized how hurt I was before.
          
          How much pain I was in. I reread Kill For It and could not even recognize myself. I read the book and it felt like a ghost had written it.
          
          And that's when I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I can't continue being a ghost. I can't continue to hide and force myself to do something I don't love anymore."
          
          "I want to heal that little girl in a new way and get to know who I am. Not Himmy."
          
          "I never got a chance to know myself. It was easy being an author who loved her characters and writing books and making friends and having such supportive readers. But I hated myself.
          
          Now that I know myself and love myself. I want to just be me. I don't feel the need to hide anymore, to hide behind Himeros, the disguise that has protected me for so long.
          
          You all saved my life. Being Himmy kept me alive. But now I want to be alive for me."
          
          Wattpads character limit sucks, so I'm gonna talk about her second announcement about her leaving in the comments of this one. Beg For It and Kill For It info will be in my post below this.

FoReverIsENDing

Himmy’s second announcement:
            
            "Hello babes, 
            
            I want to clear some things up.
            
            I’ve read what you all have had to say and I appreciate the feedback and support. I want to make sure you are all aware of next steps.
            
            I will not be uploading the website or updating the books at this time.
            
            When it came to the week I publishing I realized I would be drawn back into not only maintaining, paying, and housing a new website but I would still be having to write and update even when I no longer felt connected to any of it. It would be another year of dealing with copyright, fighting for my books to stay up, dealing with Wattpad and then an entire website. I would be back to dealing with plagiarizers and rude readers and dms about how terrible I was while dealing with my life falling apart at the seams. All of these things and interactions, slowly picked away at my passion to write. Wattpad had become toxic from me and despite me wanting to separate from Himmy, I would have no choice if i decided to upload.
            
            So I chose what was best for me.
            
            You are allowed to feel angry, sad, betrayed, disappointed, I understand and don’t negate your emotions and how you are feeling from the news. I knew above all else, I couldn’t put myself fully back into this world when I’m not mentally 100% okay. I can’t be in the hospital one day and updating the next or dealing with depression and forcing myself to update because people say I’m horrible or a liar. Last year was the worst year of my life and I’m sorry I couldn’t keep the promises I made but I hope you know I tried.
            
            I love you all so much no matter what. I’m sorry if sharing my story and previous trauma felt like a trauma dump to make you forget or to have an excuse. I just wanted to be truthful with how I was feeling. My mental health is the biggest reason why I am stepping away and I knew I had to be honest with my reasons.
            
            I hope you can understand."
• Reply

FoReverIsENDing

Since her farewell announcement came right before she originally planned to finish her website, many people were confused about whether she would upload it and/or finish her books. On August 2nd, Himmy returned to post a second announcement to clarify. I'll paste it in another comment so you don't have to go searching.
• Reply

FoReverIsENDing

this message may be offensive 
Next up, what's up with Beg For It and Kill For It?
          
          Beg For It was removed by Wattpad over a year ago for violating guidelines. The violated guidelines weren't specified, so Himmy could not re-upload or make changes to the book because she didn't know what was wrong. Now that Himmy is no longer writing, her plans for Beg For It have been scrapped.
          
          Most recently Kill For It was removed from Wattpad on April 21st. Since Himmy has been M.I.A since she left, we can only assume Wattpad took it down in their latest crackdown.
          
          We still want to read them, so I retyped them and turned them into PDFs and EPUBs.
          
          Of course, all credit for the books belong to Himmy. If she ever wishes for the link to be gone I will get rid of it, no questions asked. The PDFs cannot be downloaded, only read, and they have passwords that can also be found in the Google Drive link: BEGFORITBYHIMEROS
          KILLFORITBYHIMEROS
          
          DON'T ASK FOR THE PASSWORDS AND DON'T SEND THEM IN THE REPLIES EITHER THEY’RE HERE.
          
          The EPUBs (book format) can be downloaded. There are two versions of Beg For It, there is no difference between them. Some people were unable to download the old EPUB so I just added a new copy that would work for them.
          
          YOU CAN NOT READ THE EPUB ON GOOGLE DRIVE! It's an unsupported file type, so you HAVE to download it and open it in an app (Apple Books, Kindle, or Google Play Books) or open it on an online EPUB reader.
          
          https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/mobile/folders/1PJwz9_7DUEZwW5ihSlhUTiwu0M3KLRRy?usp=sharing

amarias72

this message may be offensive 
@FoReverIsENDing thank you so much for giving us Himmy's work. I just finished Kill For It. I never read it when it was on Wattpad cuz it was ongoing. Oh, how I wish Wattpad hadn't stolen Himmy's life work. I know she's in a better head space and I understand her need to stop writing. Kill For It is just SO GOOD. I mean Silas and Estrella are my BABIESSSS, but the ties that bind them together??? Absolute brilliance from Himmy. Off I go to enjoy Beg For It againnnn
• Reply

Lindokuhle_hope

@FoReverIsENDing thank you
• Reply

FoReverIsENDing

@merosium The pdf is the one with the password and I specifically stated above that it can’t be downloaded, if you want to download KFI you HAVE to download the file Kill For It.epub and share it from your files to an app (Apple Books, Google Books, Kindle) or an epub reading website.
• Reply