The Devil At Work

https://my.w.tt/mUkZuTpZo6 can you read this pls? In exchange ill read and vote on one of your books 

Ah dear, was I away when Wattpad culled all the 18+ content...? Alllll my old shit is gone ahhh, they could've just unpublished it TT^TT

Hi ur an amazing author I just read the demon bottoms I hope u update soon it’s really good ur so talented 

The other few days i felt as light as a feather
          now it's like melancholy
          eating 
          and eating
          away at me
          i can't stop crying
          and I think I can feel it
          the pure
          pure melancholy

I can't even cry
          I can't even scream and cry
          Isn't that what's suppose to happen?
          Can't I scream away my pain?

Ah and then every 
          Guy
          Every sweet
          Every product
          I play 
          I consume
          I buy
          I regret
          And I just start drowning again
          I can't keep my head up anymore
          The playing keeps the pain away
          for a bit
          The eating keeps the energy running 
          The rest comes in small bandaids

If I really could become
          A star
          Dimly lighting the sky
          Singing softly
          Dead though
          Right?
          If only I could become one of the stars

It's not that I don't think I deserve it
          I just don't want it
          it's not that I don't know it
          I admit it
          Am I afraid of getting it fixed?
          I don't want to get fixed?
          I don't know
          I don't want to be fixed
          I don't want people
          I don't want to be happy
          I don't want to be sad
          I don't want anything
          But to sleep and never 
          wake up

I can't think
          Everything's blank
          And if I close my eyes everything disapears
          I'm afraid of that
          I don't want to be held
          I wish no one would touch me
          I wish I could never touch another person

And I grasp onto this pit of misery 
          It's the only thing that helps me feel
          It helps me cry
          I don't know whether it's what also makes me
          unable to feel the joys of pain
          unable to cherish