😶‍🌫️

Darling you are only a tangent of me 

Will I ever outgrow my own ugliness 

I couldn't put it all away so I became the alchemist (and in that, found the space)

I lean into the expansive nothingness of what I am to you (that space is mine, all mine to nurture) 

...each regeneration becomes more potent, the soil that I periodically rot in now dense and rich...I feel like I'm in a song. I'm not even ecstatic; my heart isn't even full - it just brims now.

I can marvel at the newfound space in my body like I would at blown glass
          
          The so-called empty is luminous, and languid I find spots to curl into 

Was every day Groundhog Day with me?

"What makes loneliness so unbearable is the loss of one’s own self which can be realised in solitude..."

...I feel so energetically flossed and frazzled and apathetic. But how beautiful it's becoming in the moments when dawn breaks for me, brief as they may be. How I have more of a place in these moments these days. 

Baby's eyes clouded already
          I was born tired, so I unravel primordially
          Now I flounder in infantile entropy