The Anxious Banana

New fic. Enjoy!
          I just published "Chapter 1" of my story "Landslide". https://www.wattpad.com/1067042459?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=drarry_express&wp_originator=HX4FCse9v9%2FJpbevG9w84LwQOmgQ3tkQArGYg2OQuiLhW7haE%2Bmwv3uqTkZLo7nxKNpZuw9ITgxF1MwhQTGsK9po0oPD%2BsT62RjLXMjkvL3l3tGl6mZUl12AnVtzFTpy

Chapter 10 is out. Enjoy!
          I just published "Chapter 10: Again and Again and Again" of my story "Inevitable (From The Very Start)". https://www.wattpad.com/1079012836?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=drarry_express&wp_originator=aAlzL0%2FN6VFwRPPcantIuCRs5mBXtSO9TvhEx08qae8%2FtGpKc34KkTQWf05Vgenc9cGrBTHV3JpaxFfmce0nl6mmJKPdLZ9jzIW02NfLIWRegWuuYH0Cj%2Bmzsc%2BUGgw2

New Chapter in the New Year!
          I just published "Chapter 9: An Olive Branch" of my story "Inevitable (From The Very Start)". https://www.wattpad.com/1079012664?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=drarry_express&wp_originator=mDDkWCLM6BaRduJaHRHXISIK3gxz9ZbHZJ22KbeS4dfjrQhQ0FBnvVZqaiuxF2LTtB7JhoW%2BxxDL5lAt%2BmludwRRAPxPTndzW%2BnY9Ae%2Bx%2BRfBLwomx6N2fbQb47uO8Ro

Here's chapter two! Please let me know what you think!
          I just published "Chapter 2: A Stone in His Leather Loafers" of my story "Inevitable (From The Very Start)". https://www.wattpad.com/1079010755?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=drarry_express&wp_originator=%2BzHf0av1KP5Ple1tbm5QDQN51gkPbBJJb5CBhjoIUVYjIjiWSekwr5ynadnThDdbu7MvbgI6SYpfZ7c1bEo7SJEKmBUbadJht6Uud3GvIriSPH5xMnt7h4hR9rAIj9t3

Here's a new fic! I hope you enjoy it!
          I just published "Chapter 1: An Old Classic" of my story "Inevitable (From The Very Start)". https://www.wattpad.com/1079010503?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=drarry_express&wp_originator=37IXLa%2BSw%2Bsc6wF8kBqBwzlA64AZ0yqs8XhXvyQQg39Qe3m2RMMRpIkbeuHIqZFzSDBsvmA1%2FhlWvRpmzujj5HFFpXw8FQ2y0991rXpl%2BZMwK92K6iF6Z2xw71Qe9t0v

So....I guess after 4 years of feeling horrible and depressed with myself and my life I finally have my first appointment with my first therapist on Friday. 
          On top of that, since I do homeschooling I am still in school and I have all honors classes and am swamped.
          I feel so stressed and overworked.
          I am so happy that I finally get to talk to someone to help me but I just feel so anxious and overwhelmed. 
          
          Anybody got any tips on what to do Friday to calm me down? Or even for today?

I JUST PUT TBSL WITH LARRY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND AHHHHH

I am so emotionally and mentally drained today. I can't think right, I am stressed with school and family. I don't have anyone to talk to. Everyone I know is family and/or super judgmental. I am reading a book to get away from myself, but my mind is affecting how I am reading the story. I feel like I the characters are just as done and tired and depressed as I am. All of the family in my house are so happy and I feel like i am drowning in depression and expectations. I just want someone to listen and help me because I don't know how I am going to get past his funk. I just feel numb, and I don't know why.

So, today is going well. I am late for school, don't finish until 10pm, and my mother is keeping me busy. But later on she tells me something in confidence, but next second she makes me trip and fall, laughing at my clumsyness even though I hurt my arm. She tries to force me up when obviously I can't get up, and i use the thing she told in defense, because i tend to lash out or become angry quiet when hurt, angry, or vulnerable. Now, later on, i try to ignore it and just let it be. She lets it be too. But as i am getting ready for bed, she keeps asking questions and makin gme grab things and do things for her when I just want to go to bed. So I become angry and frustrated again, but now i am angry quiet. She, "obviously", catches on and tries to use it against me. Now at 11 something at night she throws it my face that I "hurt her". i don't know what to do and I am so frustrates, and angry, and tired. I just want to be able to be left alone, but I can't until I am out of this fucking house, which won't be happening for another 2 years. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          *Cut to me now sobbing quietly because nobody can do anything without my mother fucking noticing*

I just realized that because of the pandemic, I am doing homeschooling and sense my family is very receptive (idk if that's the word I'm thinking of) to covid i am probably going to continue to homeschooling through high school. Now I realize I won't be going to prom and having the thrill of possibly getting a date and going through the cloche process of finding a dress, matching, dress reveal, and all tha jazz. And it's kind of depressing because I've thought of being super over not going to prom and not making a big fuss of it, but now I'm just so upset I'm not going to experience what a normal teenager should be able to go through.