Darkervessel
Hi! I finished reading your book, "Babysitting the Bad Boy's Family". It was an amazing ride, I enjoyed Ethan and Kelsey's dynamic and her with Noah bit. The story propels a sense of movement toward the journey of the main character and the side characters. The banter between Noah & Kelsey was organic as the chemistry developed naturally it felt so real and not so fake & rushed. The comedy was funny & cheesy it made me laugh so much I couldn't control myself, thank you! How you execute the concept of the babysitting was well done almost reminds me of Jesse from the Disney show, but what is so different is that there is a linear story and a consistent of character growth and there are mature scenes & talks than just pure childish. However, for Ethan I wish there had been more growth and made him learn from his mistakes by himself than someone telling him. it takes away character growth & lessens that character. Moreso, I wish there more drama between Kelsey and Ethan I did enjoy the fluff but I wish there was angst and they try to resolve their issue on their own rather than having a third person doing it. It takes away the intensity of the story & lessens the audience's excitement as they know someone will fix the relationship. Noah is a great side character, but I feel like he overstates his welcome as being a wise man giving the right answers. I want to how events like the "breakup" scene (in Ethan's house) & the beach scene will play out without Noah's involvement.
Darkervessel
@Darkervessel The bonus chapters were fine I don't think you needed to include them as the original story can hold up on its own. I just think it kind of drags the story and is not necessary in my opinion. Overall, I had a good time with this story, glad I had read it & finish it than leaving it on my backlog. You are a talented writer hope you continue to write and I will check out your other stories. Thank you for this story!♥️
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Darkervessel
@Darkervessel I did not like Zack's character at all and wish it was someone else or gave more screen time to characters like Jack & Meg I prefer them over him. And the girl Zack dated and had a child with, her too. The first part & middle part of the story I adore, but the last part I did not like. I wish you had taken an alternate route. I didn't hate moving to state and the high school, but I didn't like the third act in the story you added. You know what I'm talking about, the cheerleader girl. Adding her to cause drama for the main character but it will be resolved later I abhor stories that do this type of trope. It would be better if she came to school during Ethan's last game & surprise him or followed Jake's ideas without the cheerleader girl interfering.
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