The US of A

Alaska The Mama's Boy and His Hate For The States

Another god damn meeting! Why are you doing this to me!?

America was still creeping the F out of everyone. Except Canada. But really, there was something up. China took this sign as the end of the world, but before America died... he wanted his money back. France looked worriedly at the worried Britain who was a nervous wreck from worrying about America. Russia was going between thoughts. It was between how to make that little boy from yesterday-unite with him and finding America's obvious weakness. All the other nations just quietly looked around, trying to ignore the tense air. 

"What if we just ask?" Japan suggested quietly. Germany was about to answer Italy was already on the other side of the world (get it XD... no). "Hey Mr. America whats-a bothering you?!"

America gave Italy a blank stare. "My children that's all. They seem to have gotten rowdier." He no longer cared if they knew. He was god damn tired and had no desire to care about secrets. Like seriously, you can't keep 52 kids a secret forever! Or maybe you can. He'd have to look into that. 

"You have a child, da?" Russia asked incredulously. It takes a lot to surprise Russia so if you could see his face you know shit was going down. But the only shit going down was the news America was throwing at them. It wasn't right. How on earth could someone like that have kids! Russia was in denial at the fact. As if the idiot could ever handle kids. "Your kidding .... da?"

"You said 'children' you bloody git! As if we're supposed to even believe you had one in the first place!" England refused to believe it. More than one America is the equivalent to...  bloody hell!

America's phone rang and he just started creeping the F'in F out of everyone. "Come on Canada, we gotta stop another cold war and world war 3." Camera left once more with Canada close on his heals.

"Maybe we-a should check it-a out!" Italy said cheerfully. The prospect of children was exciting. Many of the female nations excitedly. But what female wouldn't when the got the chance to see the cutest little guys ever! The other nations weren't so sure but it honestly beat shitting themselves.

Then an evil sounding chuckle was heard. The turned to see the boy from yesterday. "Kekekekekeke... you are planning to become one with father America...da?" He had the most innocent smile but that just made it creepier.

All the nations groaned or cowered in fear. "Nooo, it's the mini Russia. White flag! White flag! WHITE FLAG!!!"

"Does white flag mean we will become one." The could see excitement running through his veins. The faint sparkles in his eyes melted their hearts. But wait a minute. "Who are you, aru?"

The boy became more excited. He jumped up and down and almost all bad thoughts about him were discarded, almost. "Oh, oh, oh! I'm so glad you asked. You Mr.Long-hair will be my new friend. My mother would love you! And I'll fight with you in future wars and I won't ask for your land!" He was so happy that he claimed China his new buddy. China felt a wave of relief and pride flow through him./ He was excited to get a new friend.

"I hope we have much fun as friends." The little boy squealed in delight and jumped in China's arms giving him a hug. China hugged back. Many males blushed. Many of the females either had major nosebleeds or where major jealous at China. Why did he get the hugs! "So little one who are you?"

The boy took a deep breath. "I am Alaska. Or Juno S. Jones. One of the 50 american states!" he stated proudly. "And I love my dad even if he can be an idiot at times. And sometimes I contemplate drugging him so he will be out of commission for a while. Maybe it would clear his head off a bit, then maybe he'd figure out that GOD DAMN ROBOTS WILL NOT SAVE THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLANET  FROM THE GOD DAMN FORCE KNOWN AS GLOBAL WARMING!!!! You know like a nap to clear his head Then he'll spring back up. But mama won't let me. And the other states are douches! They always forget about me." he said sadly. "They treat me either like they don't know me, I'm not there, not important, a pain, and some of them even forget I'm a state too. Mama was the one who always protected me, that is why I love my mama. And I will protect mama, with all my power! Daddy does a good job but when he's not around they tend to drop the 'Be nice to Alaska' act. I was the 49th state dammit, and Hawaii was the 50th. They always say I'm the 50th that or say I'm not a state. Everyone is so mean to me. Except mama, daddy, Mr.Long-hair and some of mama's friends."

China petted the boys head. "Do not fret I know what it's like to live with douches. But you seem to love your mama very much, and are very protective."

Alaska nodded in more excitement. He began clapping his hand childishly. "Mama is awesome! But I think mama's friends are out to get her. I've seen how the look at her and try to get her attention. But she is mine and I only want her to look at me. Besides Washington said they are trying to corrupt mama's childlike innocence. I dunno what it means but I know corrupt is bad. She also said that they try to seduce mama, but she doesn't notice cause she is too innocent. And I like how mama is, I don't want her to be like the other meanies, or for them to take mama's vinegar." The kid paused for a moment and realized he was ranting about how the other states were pervs. "anyways mama is really nice, most of the time. But always nice to me. If you get on her bad side like the other states that's a bad omen. She almost never gets mad. She also loves animals and taking care of them. She gave me my first huskies and my second and thrived. Mama is a bit grumpy in morning if she's up too early. She's up at around 10 or 10:30. She stays up late at night doing paper work stuff. One day I will help mama with it so she can sleep. Or she'll end up like New York. He has a serious case of insomnia. I feel bad for him and he's one of the nice ones. Unless you get between him and his coffee in the morning. That is basically digging your own grave. Or at least that's what daddy said. Also New York isn't after mama, but Washington says he's after someone else. So I hope they have a happy future. But if mama ever got married I'd have to approve of the person. Also gotta keep an eye out for the mama- stealers. They aren't getting my mama on my watch!" His eyes burned in determination and love for his mama. Everyone in the room was intrigued to meet Alaska's mother figure.

China smiled and chuckled softly. "Since your the one who decides who gets to be friends with your mother then am I on the list?"

"Of course Mr. Long-hair! On the top!" Alaska beamed. Then his phone rang. "Hello~" he sang mockingly.

"Where are you?!"

"Hi, Floride! I'm somewhere on the face of the earth where I can't see your ugly face," he spat venomously.

"Why you-"

"You better hurry up if mama find out you'll be so dead. That's what you get for agreeing to babysit me and failing so miserably that you lost me within the time span of 15 minutes."

"You little punk!"

"You really need to get a better job than bullying kids. I remember when mama hang you of the side of a cliff for a whole week the last time you made me cry. SO SUCK IT!" he snapped his phone shut.

"I must take my leave before a horrid Spaniard finds me. I must not let the bitch get away Scot free for making fun of mama, or me! До свидания"

The child jumped out a window as a the doors swung open. "You fucking ice bastard!" A girl around 16 or 17 was at the door. She wore a bright yellow crop top with a big mac on it and short-short. Tattered flip-flops and sunglasses on her heard. But in her hand for whatever reason was a battle axe. "Damn it!" she left the room in hurry. Fear and anger evident on her face.

"Seriously! What the bloody hell?!