Heathen

|07|

Barre

     I sleep better than I ever have with this tiny creature nestled in my arms.

     No dreams of the past, no crippling fear of the further. Just peace. Warmth. Security.

     I wake with Elodie snuggle up against my check, eyes shut and face calm. She makes little sounds in her sleep. I nestle my face into her neck and thick hair, taking a deep whiff of her

    She's so soft. Her skin is without any texture or scars, it's just smooth and creamy and perfect. What lays beneath the skin is even more magnificent.

     There's no muscle tone, just fat. It's squishy and malleable and plush beneath my hungry hands, and I want to feel more of it. It unlocks a primitive side of me that I never knew existed.

     I want to have her in my nest ever night. I want her in my den every day. In my arms any time I want.

     The list of impossible things I desire goes on. I want to keep Elodie, and the thought scares me. I have to keep control of myself. She must be returned to the palace, where she'll be happy, and safe.

     I may be able to provide for myself, but I am no rich male. Only the wealthy can afford to pamper a female the way she needs. My Pa constantly spoke of how Mama complained if she wasn't provided with jewels and fine clothes, because she deserved the best.

     I was young, but I remember how unhappy my Mama was at times. I couldn't stand to see Elodie that upset. It would bring so much shame, more than I already feel.

     The thought of keeping her for myself, having her as a mate, it's so tempting that I consider it over and over. The palace would come looking. They would not simply forget about her. They would not rest until they had her.

      Would they take her away if I already mated her? If my kit grew in her womb?

     The idea sends a jolt through me, and I don't know what to think of it. The picture of little Elodie with a large belly filled with my offspring, I like it too much.

    I realize I need to get out of this nest before I convince myself into abandoning my plan.

     Detangling myself from the female, I let myself stare at her for a moment before I leave her. She sleeps so soundly. She's so beautiful. I want to reach out and touch her, stroke her red hair. I hold myself back.

     I need to build a fire to keep Elodie warm, and I can't wake her. She needs rest.

     I create a fire in my room, trying my best to stay quiet as I fill the fireplace with wood. The warmth spreads as I brush the splinters from my hands.

     Standing, I shoot one last glance at the female. She's snuggled up tight in my nest, holding a pillow to her chest. No sign of her frightful self from last night.

     My chest aches at the sight, and I rub the skin over my heart, wondering why I am experiencing these feelings.

      I slip out of my nesting room silently, into the living space where I build another fire to warm the den. It roars to life, and I nod in satisfaction before moving to the kitchen.

      I begin making breakfast, cracking open a few warak eggs and cooking them on the stove. I slice some meat and warm a few pieces of bread. I'm determined to make a good meal for this new little female that has entered my life suddenly.

      Although I know I'm going to be trekking to the palace to bring her back, in the back of my mind I hope to impress her. Maybe she will want to stay. Maybe she will want me to provide for her as her mate.