...☆ Affliction

. 1

 with this .. whatever this is im basically just gonna start off well, here i suppose, where things go worse and even worse for the 'girl' of the story. I hope you enjoy!

The girl sat idle in her dark room, holding her phone in one hand and cloth to her leg with the other. She was frantically texting her boyfriend, blood dripping down her legs and blood on her hands as she typed and put pressure onto the small yet deep lacerations in her pale skin. They had both relapsed terribly after God knows what, something happened between them, the girl couldn't even think of what it was at that moment. All she could do was type at him and attempt to call him, shaking and turning paler as more blood seeped from her legs. She panicked when she felt even more light headed than before.
She proceeded to toss her phone down and wipe up more blood and put more pressure down on the wounds, in attempts to stop or at least slow the blood flow. Her heart was pounding out of her chest despite the dizziness she felt and how everything seemed to move so slow.
As she was frantically trying to take care of the self inflicted wounds her phone started lighting up and buzzing violently every couple seconds, the girl reached out and grabbed the phone, staring at the mass amount of notifications from her boyfriend, she opened them and breathed out relieved that he was okay, despite her sitting in her own bloody mess.  To her appreciation the both of them worked things out, it didn't change the mess they both made of themselves and each other. It wouldn't be the first or last time though, they both knew that deep down.
There had been many incidents where one of them relapsed or they both did, where someone got upset and shut down and later blew up, they were toxic. It didn't stop them from loving each other though, well at least her, as much as someone like her could love someone. And she loved him with her all, it was stupid of her but she did, she hurt herself just to love him, and stay with him. Even when all her friends told her to leave, and she had so many people hating her for staying with him, she knew that she was being hurt, and so was he, but ofcourse she still tried, she loved him after all, and she depended on him, he was the world to her, and always had been since the second they began talking.
Aside from the reminiscing..

She set down her phone again, hands still bloody, granted most of it was dried.
She continued to clean herself up and the mess she made, shaking slightly, once her hands were clean and the blood had stopped and her legs were clean she sat against her bed, staring into the way, her cheeks were tear stained and her hands pinkish from stained blood. She just sat there, eventually she picked up her small metal device, taking a long hit, inhaling and exhaling slowly while staring at her wall, she used it to cope, and help herself steer clear of drinking again, or popping pills. It helped her relax herself. She set it down and just layed there. Disappointed in herself for mutilating her body like that, as if it was her first time again. Everyone who knew she was ill like that knew that it wasn't, and it wouldn't be the last. She always felt guilty for such things after the matter, in the moment she didn't think though, all she knew was, she was upset. And her boyfriend and her were hurting, hurting each other.
Hurting each other enough to cause such damage to both, she never understood how it could come down to this. It was sickening.

It left a foul taste on her tounge, yet she knew they'd see one another and act almost completely like it never happened. That's what they always did.

Yet it still hurt. That was just the beginning though.