Good Enough

Chapter 29

Dean POV

"Nothing," Joshy said turning away from me on his hospital bed.

I turned to look at Caleb who wouldn't catch my eye. Something's wrong, when I usually look at Caleb I feel a wave of guilt, and my wolf Norma howls in pain but now I feel nothing.

"Caleb are you okay?" I asked hoping he would look at me. Even just a glimpse, I'm trying to trace my memory of the last time I saw his beautiful brown eyes but the events of today have clouded everything.

"I'm a fine alpha." He replied looking at Joshua with a look I could decipher. A look I'm not sure he ever gave me but then again I don't deserve looks from him.

"Tomorrow is the funeral for the members who tragically lost their lives yesterday. Joshua, will you be able to attend?" I asked.

We have super healing abilities as wolves but since lucy died it's only a matter of time before he loses his mind.

"I'll be fine." He responded with an attitude.

'What's his problem?' I thought to myself. I have to ask the elders how long it takes for a mateless wolf to go crazy.

"Let's not pretend like you didn't come here to see if I lost my mind yet!" Joshua said sitting up on his hospital bed.

"Josh, what are you doing?" Caleb said rushing over to lay Joshua back down.

"Look I just came to check in on you, you fought a tough battle today and lost the most important person in your life. I'm just trying to let you know I'm here for you." I told him sincerely.

"Ha. How could you be there for me huh?" Joshua asked with a vexed look on his face.

"Look I know you're upset right now maybe I should leave," I said not wanting to anger him more.

"Yeah leave, just like you left your mate," Josh grumbled.

"JOSH!" Caleb yell.

"I'm just going to ignore that because I know this isn't you but the grief that's talking," I responded calming my wolf who desperately wanted to put Joshua in his place.

"You left your mate. The person the Goddess made perfectly for you, you just left him. Now you think you could help me get over losing my mate?" Joshua asked full of anger.

The room went so silent you could hear a pin drop. I couldn't form words to respond because he was right. Everything he said was correct, I left my perfect mate.

" the services start at 9 tomorrow please be there if you can," I said before leaving the room and closing the door behind me handing it to my dad's office.

When I finally made it back to the office I broke down crying. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. Yesterday all I had to worry about was getting married to a woman who was not my mate. Now I have countless murdered pack members including my dad and sister. My mom and fake mate are nowhere to be found and now I have a whole pack looking to me for leadership. I so desperately wanted to be alpha I rejected my mate, but now that I am alpha I just want to disappear. I've been preparing my whole life to be alpha now that I am, I don't think I'm ready to fill the shoes my father left.

I walked back to my old house and dragged my tired sore body to my bed and cried myself to sleep.

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Caleb POV

"Caleb I got it," Joshua said trying to remove his arm from my hold.

"No the doctor said to take it easy, he didn't even want to let you leave the hospital," I said with a huff. Joshua bullied his way out of the hospital for the funeral, while I completely understand his reasoning for leaving, I don't think he's well enough to go.