His Forever Girl

CHAPTER 9: Di Na Muli

CHAPTER 9: Di Na Muli

"Ang oras kapag hinayaang lumipas, 

madarama mo hanggang bukas.

Di mababawi muli."

- Di Na Muli by Itchyworms

PRESENT

I knew it was wishful thinking.

I researched for this, yet, I remained hopeful.

But the results just came and it showed that my mother is not a match for Savannah's bone marrow transplant. I knew there was a very small chance, about one percent. I wasn't a match, her mother. Ano pa kaya sa grandmother niya? But I hoped that maybe our fate was twisted enough that the person who tried to end my daughter's life was the answer to all these.

Science prevailed today. Only a parent may be closely matched with their child, as well as their siblings. But Savannah is an only child that her father doesn't know exists.

I knew, deep down, I was only stalling. I told myself there will be no stone unturned for Savannah. I got myself tested. Ara, Hiro, and Dash got tested, as well. We all didn't match Savannah, just like her grandmother isn't.

There's only one person I need to talk to now, and he is the one I promised myself never to contact again. But he's our only hope now.

My nightmare is coming true today.

After four years, it has finally come...

I have to tell him the truth about our daughter.

I know I have to do it today before I lose my mind. Hindi ko pa nga nasasabi kay Nanay ang resulta. As soon as mabasa ko ang email sa akin ng hospital ay para bang napa-autopilot ako. Tuluy-tuloy ako sa paglabas ng kwarto ko sa B&B ni Everly at hindi ko na alam kung papaano ako nakasakay sa kotse ko at napamaneho.

All I know is that I am here at Estrella beach. Trespassing.

Nakatingin lang ako sa dagat at pinipilit na mapakalma ang sarili. Pero walang nagagawa ang simoy ng hanging-dagat, pati na ang tunog ng mga alon ay hindi na nag-re-register sa utak ko. I am an unseeing, unfeeling woman at the beach in the middle of the day.

Kahit tirik ang araw ay hindi ko rin maramdaman sa balat ko ang init nito.

All I smell is the sanitized halls of the children's hospital.

All I hear is my daughter crying as she continuously gets jabbed for lab tests.

All I feel is her pain when ther cancer is attacking her little body.

All I see is my daughter—crying in pain at the hospital.

No more. God, no more.

I looked away from the ocean and immediately saw the cabin. The cabin. It only made me think of one person, the only person who can help me save my child, our child.

Ysmael.

I must find Ysmael today.

I must talk to him now.

***

I was in my car, frozen, staring at the Bean&Bean Cafe. I was doing okay going here. Calm, numb, not panicking at all. But now, seeing his truck parked at his usual spot... everything finally sunk in.

Somehow, ngayon lang talaga nag-sink in sa akin na ngayong araw ko na kakausapin ang tatay ni Savi. In a couple of minutes, I have the power to alter the course of his life. In a couple of minutes, malalaman niyang meron siyang 4-year old daughter na itinago ko sa kanya.