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THANA TAKES A small step out of the train just before Rohan does. Latif is, like herself a year before in their parents' arms. He has come home, and Thana realises that the family house no longer will be like home. Jamila will be extra dotty on Latif, more than she was on Thana. Sadiya doesn't life at home anymore and she knows that Zahra is barely home anymore. Rohan thinks she doesn't know, but she overheard him talk to Carita who spends lots of time with Zahra. Her family is falling apart from their closeknit bond, which is normal seeing they all grow up. It seems that she, Thana, knows that her given house by the president will be the one she is going to life in. She did have it remodelled for herself after Johanna's visit last year.
"Thana," Rohan pushes the girl slightly forward as he lays his hand on her shoulder, "I'll always be there for you." He whispers before leaving the girl to get of the stairs herself as he hastes himself to Carita. His daughter smiling softly as he comes close to her.
Thana slowly takes the steps and hugs Zahra who is closest to her, after that Sadiya who smiles softly and Thana smiles back.
"Oh gosh, they have grown quite a lot." Thana touches her oldest sister's belly, "you'll be an amazing mother Sadi."
"Thank you, Thai," Sadiya smiles brightly, "and I know you'll be an amazing aunt."
"Where is Clément?" the question hangs in the air as Thana asks it.
"His father is not doing well," Sadiya says and she squeezes Thana's hand. "But believe me that he wanted to be here with us."
"I know," Thana smiles softly as she pushes her hair behind her ears.
...
"Mom barely held up," Zahra says to Thana as the three sisters stand together like old times.
"I expect her to put Latif above everything," Thana muses to her sisters, "I'll be in my own house, I didn't remodel it for it to just stand like that." She smiles softly at Zahra's defeated look, "you two are always welcome to stay over. It will also be closer to Carita."
"I'll miss you in the house," Zahra smiles softly, disregarding her lest comment as Thana squeezes her hand. "Do mom and dad know?"
"I told them that I would permanently move once I came back home," the youngest sister says, "mom probably has forgotten already. But I am going to greet them."
"You should do that," Sadiya smiles and gives Thana another hug, "dad missed you very much, more than he is willing to admit. His visits to me became more frequent."
As Thana said, she moves towards her father who had been watching his daughters. He smiles as his little girl comes closer. He takes her in an embrace.
"Hello, my little troublemaker," Verrill holds Thana close to himself and little tears fall down her eyes. "Your mother might not realise it, but I know that your days there in the Capitol with your younger brother in the games have been harder and more stressful than our here."
"Thank you, dad," Thana holds her father close to herself, "I love you."
"How about that I spent your first night there with you?" Verrill looks Thana into his eyes.
"You would do that for me?" a vulnerable side of the young woman pops up that Verrill hasn't seen for a very long time.
"And so much more my darling," Verrill smiles before raising his voice so the others can hear him too, "how about we go to our house?"
...
That evening, after dinner Verrill accompanies Thana towards her house. They are both silent for quite some time.
"Everything is going to change now, right?" Thana asks her father.
"I am afraid so," Verrill looks sadly at his daughter, "your mother will probably expect of you to protect Latif from everything at the cost of your own wellbeing."
"That is exactly what I am afraid of yeah," the girl links her hand with her father's, "I am afraid I will even do it."
"I want you to look out for yourself," Verrill squeezes her hand, "Rohan couldn't protect you from everything and neither can you two for Latif. I love you and your brother equally, which means that I don't want you to forget yourself above everything."
"You are simply the best parent anyone can ask for," Thana lays her head on Verrill's shoulder as they reach the house.
That first night, with Verrill in one of the guest rooms, Thana sleeps like she always does. With nightmares left and right, she never finds rest anywhere and images of Jack keep appearing, like imaging of a nearly headless Latif who both exclaim that it is all her fault. That if it wasn't for her, everything would be alright. Images of other tributes from her games plague her as she without knowing herself screams and screams.
"Shh," Verrill gently wakes Thana up who has tears streaming down her face, "it is okay, I am here." He takes his daughter in his arms, "you are safe, you are safe." He strokes her back, "I am here, I am here," he keeps repeating his actions as if it is a mantra. "You are safe, you are safe." In the end Thana seems to relax little by little. "If you want, I will listen, otherwise I will still be here to hold you."
"I am scared," Thana looks into her father's eyes, "I think that I am going insane with these dreams. Everything is my fault," the girl blurts out, "I don't deserve to live, I should have died in those games."
"It is all okay," her father repeats, "you are safe." Tears threaten to fall by the man himself, but thinking about it, after a month or so when her games finished it was him who went to her room instead of his wife. He is used to this and it pains him to see his daughter this distraught. "It is all okay," he says again, holding her head close to his heart so she can hear his beat, "you are safe."
More tears fall over Thana's face as her father moves so that she lays on his chest with her head and the blanket covers both. "I don't know," Thana sobs, "I don't know how long I can keep going like this."
"Breathe," her father says kissing her head, "one step at a time."
... Nora speaking here! I have finished writing this act and started the 3rd one. So 3 more chapters and act 2 will be over and act 3 will have started. So thank you for all your support, it means a lot to me <3
