Still A_Stray: Living With Stray Kids (ot8 fanfic)

Chapter 39

'Cause trust me, I'll be with you, star lost

"How is it you all don't have to see a chiropractor three times a week?" I asked, frowning at the heap all the members had folded themselves into on the couch.

"We probably should, to be honest," Felix said beside me, raising his voice so I could hear him over the running tap but not so loudly he would wake the dozing members. "Chan's joints are pretty much poprocks at this point, though, so I figure it's too late."

I snorted, passing him a plate. "Have you guys heard yourself during stretches? It's like I'm listening to a Nayeon hit solo song."

Felix laughed, sliding it into the dishwasher. he was back talking to me—he had never been the kind to give someone the cold shoulder, even for this—but sometimes it still felt hollow, like he was doing it more to keep up his charade of 'everything is perfect' with the members and himself than because he genuinely enjoyed my company. "I doubt they'll stay there the whole night. Some of us do have beds, after all."

I peered over at the mess the members were in. Seungmin, Minho and Jisung had gone to bed already, but the others were still huddled around Jeongin, and didn't seem to have any intention of leaving him.

"I almost feel bad for Jeongin," I said, holding out another plate.

Felix didn't take it. I looked up in surprise to see that his gaze was fixed wistfully on the members. It occurred to me, then, to wonder why Felix wasn't part of the Stray Kid pile in the living room; he was by far the most physically affectionate out of all of them. Group hugs were his happy place.

And then I realized his eyes were on one member in particular.

"Things are still awkward, huh?" I asked quietly in English.

Felix started, blinking out of his reverie, and realized I was still holding out a plate. "Yeah," he muttered, and quickly took it, leaning over the dishwasher so he didn't have to look me in the eye.

I swallowed tightly. "Felix, I—"

"I know." He smiled at me, and it looked nothing like him, thin-lipped and not reaching his eyes. "It's alright."

He didn't know—not this, not what Hyunjin had told me on the ride back to the car—but maybe it was better that he didn't. Either way, it wouldn't fix what had been broken between them; it would change anything. If Felix knew, it would only agonize him more. 

So I kept my mouth shut, fearful of ruining things even more than I already had.

At least this way Felix knew his feelings for Hyunjin were real, because fickle love is always easy, and this was anything but that.

"Thank you for helping me with the dishes, anyway," I told him.

Felix nodded. "I thought I'd give Changbin-hyung a break." Once again, his gaze fell on the members—I didn't think he even realized it. "Plus, it always feels good to me to clean up after a good meal."

"I agree with that," I said, handing him the last plate. "Minho did a good job on this."

Felix nodded. "How he keeps his hair from getting in all the food he cooks, I have no idea." He touched his own long hair regretfully.

I hummed in agreement, reaching to close the dishwasher. "Yeah, he must have some kind of—"

Hair tie.