Here I am, I'm not sure I can say I'm proud of it though, Phenix is in front of me and yet there isn't a single thing I can do to keep him here. In some ways he looks frail, in other ways he looks confident. In some ways he looks completely tangible in other ways he's completely untouchable. I can't say that I believe it's fair. He's alive in front of me yet he is dead or dying and there's nothing that I can do about that. Yet after all this time I spent trying to forget about him I still can't let go.
I look up to the sky which has taken on a strange red hue to see a flashing light, "It's time that you head home now." I hear the voice of a woman descend upon me from the deep recesses of the clouds. Suddenly the dust of the air begins to circulate and I am aware of the patterns of air. I am aware of the fact that I am still breathing just barely. I gasp in the air now, conscious of the pain within my lungs and the sky fades away.
I'm still in the library I sit up from my place on the floor and I am accompanied by Mrs. Argento. "It's past closing time already love, you should start heading home now, I'm sure your parents are worried by now." She gently places her hand on my back while I examine the room and suddenly I remember everything, we're still in the vault. There's a window that would have shown natural light but there wasn't even a small glint of it outside of moving head lights. Troy is probably going to be mad and I don't think Nika will care too much but I don't find myself the slightest bit worried about that.
"Alright, I'll head home now. Thank Mrs. Argento" As I stand I can feel the blood rushing through the rest of my body but I don't feel like I'm made of flesh and blood at all. The long voyage home at the peak of darkness begins and I'm not ready to embrace the truth. There is a rage burning every single time I think of it and I cannot accept it, I don't know if I'm allowed to or if I have to.
"Get home safely, it's almost midnight okay?" I don't respond to her, I start walking and the moment I exit the library my speed picks up. At first I'm at a light jog but as the momentum increases I reach a sprint. All I can think about is running, I can't let any other thought invade my brain, everything else burns. Running for an indefinite amount of time might cause my legs to go numb or my lungs to burn but there is nothing worse than the feeling of rage pent up inside me.
I reach the apartment in record time and usually that would give me some excitement but I don't care. I walk up the staircase panting heavily, a different kind of exhaustion has overtaken me but I don't care. I pull out my keys and in my trembling hands they almost fall twice but I don't care. I open the door and Nika is sitting at the table with his glasses on, reading, and when I see him I feel nothing.
"Deja vu, huh?" Nika begins, I suppose we have been here before, on that night before my entire life changed. Now again it feels like my entire life has gone horribly wrong and there's absolutely nothing I can do to fix it. I thought I had gotten braver since that day but I dread the fact that I really haven't changed at all just my circumstances.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep at the library. I didn't realize how late it had gotten." My words feel like I'm pushing past him just eagerly waiting for the moment when my head can hit the pillow and I can reset my day. I don't believe that will extinguish the flames but maybe I could get relief from them for a few moments. That's all I need right now.
"Yeah, I figured it was something like that, you don't usually get into trouble, you've always been like that." The corner of Nika's lip turns upwards into a slight smirk as he speaks, but not oblivious to the fact that I am acting out of the ordinary.
"I do not wish to be spoken to right now" I speak stiffly in an attempt to hide the quivering of my upper lip. I believe it was quite easy for Nika to catch on as he briefly looks up from his book and indiscreetly lifts an eyebrow towards me. However he respects my statement and remains completely silent. It's strange, a part of me almost wishes that he would say something but I know that at the moment I wouldn't be able to handle it. "I'm going to bed" I push out one more stiff statement before walking past him to my bedroom hoping the overwhelming emotions would subside by dawn.
YOU ARE READING
The Cure To All Disease
Science FictionLiving by the sea he could never touch Ambrose has spent his entire life in complete solitude perfectly satisfied . Adopted by a young couple who could not have children. Suddenly all of that changes when his adoptive mother becomes pregnant. Ambro...
