[Edited]
[Short-ish chapter]
Nothing but awkward tension filled the small area we sat in, the huge window showing a clear one sided scene of the park the cafe was built by, the pink sakura tree leaves softly falling along with the breeze on the green coloured grass
"Hi..."
"Hi"
"I uh...." he sighed gathering his thoughts as words failed him, his face mixed with expressions I failed to read maybe it's because I tried my best to keep mine in check as well to not make a fool out of myself
I had spent hours practicing what I'd say when I finally got to meet him infront of my mirror but now that he's actually infront of me I don't know what to say, the truth? Lie? Yell? Cry?
What us the truth at this point what do I actually have to say to him it's not like I have to explain everything to him and it's not that I want an apology from him but I actually managed to hear everything he had to say to me Cause he already apologised but them again ....its hard to just hate someone you got close to right?
"Y/n...i"
"It's okay...I'll start" I cut him off careful not to make it seem as if I didn't want him there honestly I don't even know myself
"I...I had somethings to say to you before I came and now that I'm right infront of you those thibgs just feel stupid"
"You're not stupid" he cut off
"Funny enough that's not what you said the last time we met" goddammit y/n stop being fucking petty
"Oh...i"
"Anyway....I know that you want to apologise and all and honestly I already heard it all and it's getting old....you're sorry , you wanna try and fix things cause you feel bad and all ..." I keep talking until he cuts me off my slamming the table a bit his expression changing to one I can't read
"Sure I feel guilty and all that shit but that's not the main reason why I wanted to see you again y/n" he talked his voice filled with mild irritation
"Yes it is"
"No it's not"
"Yes it is"
"You mean a lot to me"
"I meant* a lot to you"
"Just shut the fuck up and let me speak okay?!" He yelled and for some reason I didn't want my hand banged against the window so I shut the fuck up
"I'm sorry for what I did, I really am , I know I can't take back any of the words I've said to you and I know they hurt you deeply and that you might hate me now..but I still am sorry, if I didn't fucking care I would've not came here, I would've not jumped around like a fucking kid when Binnie hyung told me you wanted to meet me... I was sweating bullets and fucking nervous on my way here, cause I'm scared , scared that we'll lose each other again. That this might be the actual last time I see you again, that I could've lost you to death... I hurt you and I deserve to be hated by you"
As he said that I noticed how his eyes shined with tears he wanted to cry but held it in to make himself seem strong...he didn't need to act strong , I mean he didn't sob like an unfed overgrown embryo at the hospital but he still dint seem to want me seeing him break down
I sighed as I played with my tea swirling the spoon quietly in it "it's not that I hate you"
"I just...can't bring myself to forgive you"
"You don't have to forgive me, I can't even forgive myself" he said quietly avoiding eye contact
"That's where you're wrong...I want to forgive you ...but I'm scared what happened will happen again " I muttered looking up to meet his gaze, his eyes were glassy but still he didn't want to cry he looked sad,guilty,and somewhat hurt ..and that hurt even if I'm thr one who's meant to be hurt
"So I'll do anything to bring myself to forgive you"
"Y/n-"
"If there's something I learnt the first 4 months of just living life alone with Changbin is that holding grudges is the first sign of you not being able to let go and to completely forgive myself, I have to forgive those who wronged me..."
"So let's forget whatever happened between us...we never met, we never texted, we never befriended each other and we never had this talk"
"No..y/n please-" and there was the tear I thought he'd shed running down his now tinted cheeks , the sight broke me and I wanted to shed some of my own but I held back
"There's no point in keeping contact or keeping memories Yang Jeongin"
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry , please don't do this" he teared up even more "You cut ties before , its wrong now that I'm the one doing it?" I scoffed lowly
"Please y/n"
"What's the point" I wipe a tear away from his cheek
"I'm moving to Ulsan"
"You're...moving away?"
"Yes"
"Will you ever come back?"
"No"
______________________________________
Sup lovies...honestly speaking I don't know who to make y/n end up with
Should it be:
A random guy she meets and falls for in Ulsan
Changbin? >I know I said they're friends but again...chemistry<
Chan ? [This was originally gonna be a chan x reader story until I got too obsessed with the love square ..he was supposedly the Male lead]
Minho [ the second male lead...they're never the choice..but maybe chosing him can change that?]
Jeongin [the third male lead..who had a fair share of chemistry with y/n...and honestly they were my second ship and second 'maybe they'll be together ]
Or should y/n just end up alone?
Please help me decide🙃
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