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Ch. 11: No Hickeys

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No matter how much older Mathew gets, he will always carry a part of that isolated kid in the dark. He escaped physically, but his mind remained imprisoned. He could still feel the emptiness of that room, the quiet, and the cold door that always remained locked.

And yet, here, with Jace's warm hands holding his face, soft music in his ears, draped in a blanket, and surrounded by light, Mathew was so full he could burst. His heart swelled up like a balloon that could take another pump of air, another, and another, until it pressed against the walls of his chest.

A roll of thunder pulled a gasp from Mathew that Jace had just kissed away. Jace turned his head, holding Mathew in place, digging deep into Mathew's space like he intended to burrow inside and make a home there. Mathew gripped Jace's damp arm. Mathew sought his warmth, sliding his hands underneath Jace's shirt to uncover the heat burning just below Jace's skin. Mathew brought himself even closer, running his hand up Jace's back, breathing him in so deep there wasn't a part of Mathew that existed without Jace's interfering.

Jace's hand slipped behind Mathew's neck as he slowly laid Mathew on the ground. A comforting weight, Jace's body covered Mathew's as his hand touched Mathew's waist, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt and just feathering over Mathew's skin. Mathew told himself to breathe. The anticipation fizzled and frayed Mathew's nerves as he wished and begged the universe to make Jace touch him more, press against him harder, and go further and further. This was one droplet in an ocean of Mathew's desire. He wanted to sink to the bottom.

Jace granted Mathew's wish. Sliding his arm around Mathew's back, Jace moved closer, sliding his knees between Mathew's legs, and brushing his crotch. Mathew shuddered, his desire scattering through him as Jace broke the kiss. Hovering over Mathew, Jace's molten eyes searched Mathew's face. He blushed with dewy lips and a hitch to his breath. Mathew glanced between them and their situations. Mathew licked his lips and said, "Just don't bite me."

Jace's eyes pinned on Mathew's, and he blinked as if waking up from a dream. Mathew explained, panicking, that he might've said something really weird and ruined the mood. "I just don't like being bitten," he half-lied. "And um, no hickeys."

Letting out a huge sigh, Jace pushed himself off Mathew and took to his feet, taking all his comfort and heat with him. Mathew sat up, one of Jace's headphones falling out of his ear and scattering across the classroom. Mathew felt a chill scratching the surface of his skin, and goosebumps littered his arms. Mathew pulled the quilt back over his shoulders. "That's just, um, my boundary, I guess. I don't really do this often, so I don't know when I should say it."

"No, no," Jace said and shook his head with his eyes closed like he was trying to dislodge something out of his skull. "I'm sorry. I..." Jace rubbed his face, erasing the fiery look from before that Mathew liked so much. The air in the room shifted and made Mathew's stomach roll. Then, Jace bowed ever so slightly and yet, that one small gesture hit Mathew like the school had fallen on top of him.

"I'm sorry, your highness," Jace said, keeping his head down. Not looking back at Mathew when that was all he wanted. Jace's mouth was moving, but Mathew wouldn't believe it if it didn't match Jace's eyes.

"I acted irrationally and—" Jace was talking, but it didn't sound like him, as if he was reverberating words handed down to him from someone else. Someone Mathew didn't want to kiss. "And I have to apologize again."

"You don't have to be so sorry," Mathew said, more and more offended. "I don't want you to apologize for wanting to kiss me—"

"It's not—" Jace interjected, but raised his hands to hold himself back. What he wanted to say was knocking at the other side of his teeth, but he wouldn't let his thoughts escape that easily. Pulling the words out one by one like ripping off band-aids from his hairy arms. "I'm not apologizing for wanting to kiss you. It's that..." he huffed. "I shouldn't have kissed you, your highness."

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