Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

★ { Nir } On the Run

Client: Kikibtsstan

Reviewer: nkvenus7878

🩷 Cover Page: 5/5

The cover page immediately catches the readers' eye and gives a beautiful idea about the world the story is set in. The design, elements added and colour theme used are absolutely adorable and have association with the story.

🩷 Title: 3.5/5

The title of any story gives a good idea of what the story is about. The title "On The Run" gives a good idea of what the story initially is going to be about.

However, since the story also revolves on other conflicts including the relationship between the Prince and a notorious gang leader's son Tristan, the title should be chosen in accordance to that. This would incredibly help the readers to understand the main theme of the story.

🩷 Blurb:3/5

The blurb, much like the cover page and title, gives the first impression of what any story is going to be about. It must be kept precise, of an adequate length and easy to understand.

The blurb of the story "On The Run" does include the main theme of the story. However, it does not give much idea on the further events to be occurring throughout the story. A little emphasis on them in the blurb would help the readers learn immediately what the tale is going to be about and how its future developments might occur!

🩷 Character: 5.6/10

Characters are the main soul of any story. Without a proper description about the characters, the readers will not be able to connect with them.

The characters in the book "On The Run'' have been chosen wisely. They're unique and have their own unique personalities. However, their personalities have not been described well enough. Their inner conflicts, any past memories, their opinions and anything else related to them in specific has not been well described. A proper description of each character in the storyline would really help the readers to connect with them!

🩷 Vocabulary: 4.1/5

The vocabulary of the book is sound and unique. There might be some errors in the initial chapters of the book which may require some editing for betterment.

🩷 Grammar: 4.6/5

The grammar and tone of the book is very impressive. It contains some errors here and there which may require some editing and that would do the trick!

🩷 Enjoyment: 4.2/5

The main motive of the story, to make it humorous has indeed been fulfilled! The storyline is very captivating to the readers and the frequent innocent episodes of Prince Asher make it ever so enlightening.

Nevertheless, the immediate occurrence of events may confuse the readers which makes the enjoyment come to a standstill. More description of those sarcastic moments would help the readers to connect with the story and understand it clearly!

🩷 Plot: 5/10

With absolute honesty, this is the part of the book which has been quite disappointing. The plot of any story is the main essence on which it is entirely built. Without a proper descriptive and understandable plot, a true connection with the story cannot be made and neither can it be understood with clarity.

The book "On The Run" does not have a good plot. The description of the scenes and events is hardly done, the world setting is not described, the happening of events is way too fast and at times the storyline can become very confusing due to the quickly occurring events with less description for the readers to understand. An improvement in these areas would immensely help readers to understand and immerse into the story with ease.

🎉 Total: 35/50

🎉 Percent: 70%

🎉 Overall Review:

Overall the book requires a good amount of revision and editing. In my opinion I believe that the storyline is truly amazing and the characters are unique in their own ways, but the manner in which it has been presented is not good enough with not enough information.

It does appear that the story may have been written in a hurry or rather by writing down thoughts into words without giving them much imagination. Kindly note that for any story, a good amount of imagination and hard work is always required.

The following are the pointers that may require some focus:

1. Creating a more descriptive blurb. Try making it of an ideal length, not too long, not too short. But must include most of the main events occurring throughout the story.

2. More defined characters. The inner emotions, the turmoils, the pain, joy and everything else about the characters helps the readers connect with them in a unique way. Including their inner thoughts, their manner of speech and some of their past incidents might also help a lot! Moreover, adding description about their looks, appearance and their dress up will help the readers visualise them with ease.

3. Little editing for grammar and vocabulary. Try using the words which were used during the era in which the story has been set in for giving it a more glamorous touch.

4. Making the story sound more realistic. The manner in which the story occurs when the Prince falls in love with a kidnapper, the way the Prince saves Tristan from execution and especially the fact that the gang leader and the gang itself accept Asher so easily are just too good to be true. Try describing scenes with a more realistic touch so that readers can connect with it.

5. Description of events is very important that has not been done with clarity. Whether it's a fighting scene or a sarcastic one, a proper description must be given or it might become confusing.

Ultimately, the story does require a good amount of processing and revision. Take time and try accomplishing it since the storyline is great but the manner in which it's been presented may not be that simple to relate.

I hope that the above review is helpful. Kindly note that I DO NOT hold any grudge against you and this review is my honest opinion. Hope it is satisfactory!!