Beautiful ➳ Neil Perry.

quinze

"I'm going to be honest with you. I never thought I'd see you again after that day."

* * *

Alice had her hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket, her cheeks slightly pink from the cold. She was looking down at the trail of snow in front of her, careful not to slip on the ice. For once, she was thankful for such unforgiving weather— it gave her a reason to focus on something else.

It was late in the evening. The streets were quiet by now, the only noise that could be heard at this hour was the passing snow.

Alice had waited for this day to come for so many days now. But now that the time has come, she had so little in mind to say. He was right here— after such a long time of being apart, he was here again. Being in his presence, walking side by side with him. It all felt so strange, suddenly. It was like they haven't seen each other for years, giving them too much to talk about. Alice had no idea where to start, how to start. Did he want to see her to hear her out? Or to be heard out?

"Honestly," he suddenly said, breaking the heavy silence, "It killed me seeing you that day."

Alice didn't react nor comment, her eyes still focused on the trail ahead. Exactly what did he mean?

So much had happened that night. After walking into Todd and Pitts in the stairwell, they had taken her to see Neil who was more than unhappy to see her. And unfortunately for her, both Charlie and Cameron had to be present too. Because of that, what could've been an calm encounter spun out of control.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, her voice softer than usual.

Neil seemed more calm and collected when it came to eye contact and voice control. It was clear that Alice wasn't exactly ready to have this conversation with him. But it was now or never.

"Just seeing you crying like that," Neil stopped walking for a moment, "And the fact that I was the reason for it. I'd never forgive myself for that."

Alice shook her head, as if to tell him she was fine. She wanted to say more, but he continued on.

"I know it's no excuse. I know I shouldn't have listened to Cameron and should've at least heard what you had to say. You should know that I trust no one in the world as I trust you, Alice," he said, reaching for Alice's hand, "It was less about what you did, or what Charlie did, but more about how I felt at the time. And I'm sorry for putting you through that."

Alice gave him a small smile, shaking her head again.

"Telling you the truth was the first thing I should've done," she confessed, taking in a deep breath, "It would've stopped all of this from happening. I realise I've been selfish about it, really. I was just so afraid of losing you."

Alice felt the heat rise up to her cheeks at what she'd confessed, unsure of how Neil would interpret her choice of words. He returned the smile, letting her know he understood how she felt. It was as though his smile were telling her that he'd been afraid of the same thing— losing her, and he had thought he'd been losing her to Charlie.

"I'm glad I chose to come to see you tonight. I'd hate to spend another day like we were."

"Me too."

Chris was right— in all due time, everything was going to fall back into place. After two weeks of not seeing each other, Alice and Neil were finally speaking again.

Alice looked up, realising they had walked quite a long distance from her home as they arrived at the park. Unbothered by that fact, Alice was glad it meant spending a few moments longer with Neil until she got back. It wasn't everyday she'd find herself walking down the streets in late night with him. It gave that same cool, happy feeling she had been so familiar with whenever he was around.

Once they reached the next park bench, Neil took a seat, letting out a relieved sigh. Alice sat beside him, her eyes drifting from one thing to another, exploring their surroundings. She felt him inch closer to her, the warmth in her chest spreading all over her entire body— that was how he always made her feel.

"So, what do you think about it?" he asked, his eyes void of any specific expression. He clearly tried to make himself clear of any bitterness or envy as he spoke, the ends of his lips curling up to a small smile. Alice had never seen him force such an expression. "The arranged marriage, I mean."

Alice had answered this question at least a hundred times with Chris— her answer had never been so unclear to her until now. The way she felt . . . she couldn't put into words.

"Well, to be honest . . ." Initially, she felt like running away. The moment she was told the news by her parents, she felt like her whole life so far had gone to waste. She always dreamed of meeting the right person sometime in her life; someone who really understood her and loved her.

Alice didn't believe in 'love at first sight', but she did believe in that spark. That special moment you meet somebody and you just know they're the one. Having that taken away from her actually seemed to disappoint her more than she expected. And it only made it more difficult knowing it was someone close to Neil.

What was even more difficult, however, was telling him what she was planning to do about it. She didn't quite know the answer for herself.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't run away, for one," Neil said with a chuckle, causing Alice to look in his direction, "And, look. About this whole situation . . . Don't stress about it, okay? If you've made it clear that it's something you don't want, it won't happen. There's nothing in the law that forces you to go through with a marriage your parents arranged. I know all of this has been tough on you, but I'll have you know that I'll be here to see the end of it."

Neil thought he was merely rambling, but everything— all of his words seemed to take away all of her fears doubts. Everything was going to work out. Everything was going to be okay and it's all because he was here.