Clara Newhall's Guide to Saving an Unperson

Brutality

Akim was bored quite a bit over the next few days. Dr. Newhall apologized several times for the leather restraints on his wrists, and she'd remove them when Dr. Shepherd wasn't around. Dr Shepherd herself wasn't unkind. She was a lot nicer than most of Kruschev's researchers, though she still refused to speak to him beyond succinct instructions. She had close-cropped red hair and a bit of a stout figure.

Dr. Newhall, on the other hand, was tall, with dark skin and darker hair. She was in the ward so often Akim wondered when she slept. When she was around, she would talk to him, ask him questions, show him how to play cards. When she wasn't around, she would set up a portable movie player and show him the films they watched in America. Her attention mystified him. It took the entire first week for Akim to get used to hearing his name so often, a feat not helped by the bouts of fever and shaking that took him every two days.

The only other person Akim saw during his stay was Bradley, the janitor. He was very white and always wore what Dr. Newhall called a newsboy hat. It looked slightly awkward on him because it covered up what little hair he had and fit comically large. Bradley never spoke to Akim either, and seemed unwilling to come in and clean while he was awake.

It was evening sometime during the second week in the clinic. Akim fiddled with his restraints as he watched the characters on the screen jump out of a window together. He could remove the bonds, if he absolutely wanted to. He just needed something hard to hit to work up the power, and there wasn't, unless he felt like banging his spinning head against the bedframe, which he didn't. As bothersome as it was, this was a good place. Except...

Dr. Newhall returned right as the two main characters kissed and the credits rolled. She sat down on the stool next to him. "Did you like this one?"

He nodded. It wasn't entirely true - Western movies didn't always make much sense to him - but the inaccuracy of the battle scenes and the deadpan reactions of the characters had made him laugh, and it was better than reading the same six scraps of paper over and over again like he did back home. "I did enjoy it, thank you. But I did not understand the term 'true love.'"

Dr. Newhall laughed and took a drink from a water bottle. "Can't help you there."

She seemed to be amused when he didn't understand things. Maybe it was a little rude, but it was nice to see her laugh. It felt like friendship, he thought. Thinking that way made him sick with guilt, but Kruschev had never told him NOT to have friends. The guilt stayed, though, which is why, instead of responding to her comment, he said, "I didn't contract malaria by accident."

A shadow passed over the half of her face that wasn't hidden by her mask. "They infected you on purpose?"

"No. No, I did it."

"...What?"

He pressed on, avoiding her eyes. "I could have taken necessary precautions. I knew the Congo had high risk of malaria. I could have prevented it."

"Akim, it's not a crime to be a little careless."

"I wanted to come back here," he deadpanned, staring straight ahead. She didn't respond. "I was selfish. I wanted to hear my name again..."

"You made yourself sick? You shouldn't have done that..." she looked concerned. She would tell Kruschev, no doubt. That was fine. Akim deserved whatever he got.

He nodded mutely, then croaked, "Mother Russia grieves at my disobedience. I hurt her by hurting myself."

"...You hurt yourself, too."

"I am a treacherous fool, doctor. Leech, filthy mule..." 

Dr. Newhall stopped him before his self-deprecation could get any more creative. "No, Akim. You're worth more than that. You shouldn't have to make yourself sick just to feel like a person."

"I am a person."

"Kruschev doesn't treat you much like a person."

Akim hesitated. "You don't understand. I need him. He provides for me. He shows me how to serve my country."

"I highly doubt he's actually affiliated with the Russian government."

That raised a big question. "I don't know. I don't know. I just do what I'm told."

"Maybe you should be allowed to live the way you want to!"

Akim suddenly felt panicked. "No!"

"Akim, what did you ever do to deserve this kind of slavery?"

"STOP!" He didn't want to fight with her, but she was scaring him. All of it scared him. He tried to tell her why she was wrong, but he could feel the fever encroaching on his mind, pulling him back into stupor. He couldn't think of an answer for her, but he knew what he had to do. "Don't... please don't call me that name."

She looked as horrified as he felt. "Akim... please, listen to me... Akim?"

He felt like he'd been hollowed out and filled with molten lead. He leaned over and put his head where his hands would be if he could move them, begging her, "No more of this. I don't want this," and a litany of the same.

The last he saw before he shut his eyes was his only friend backing away, mask in her hand and tears in her eyes.

-

Janice and Bradley had heard the whole thing. Newhall could tell by their refusal to make eye contact with her. She was grateful for their silence. She knew she couldn't have handled an I-told-you-so at the moment.

She had been wrong. Akim didn't want to be free, why would he? He had been happy working for Kruschev. He had never known freedom. All she did was cruelly dangle it in front of him. He had lost his blissful ignorance. He could never get it back and it was her fault.

At 11:00 Janice told her to go to bed. Her shift was long over, but sleep seemed as impossible to her as Akim's freedom, so she busied herself around the clinic, organizing paperwork, cleaning with Bradley (who had ignored her, red-faced), and trying to update this year's budget, which she abandoned in favor of sitting at the reception desk and watching a frog-shaped desk toy pedal its back legs like it was riding an invisible bicycle.

At midnight she heard footsteps outside. She was about to call Janice into the room but was interrupted by the arrival of their visitor.

"Hello, Doctor Newhall," Kruschev stated placidly. "I came to ask about the notification I received from this clinic, claiming that the agent I left in your care has betrayed me."