Falling Harder✔

Chapter Twenty Three : Clipped wings of life

Whatever hurts or causes difficulty to a Muslim is a calamity and on bearing it patiently, it carries Allah's promise of reward." Hadith

Chapter Twenty three:
Clipped wings of life

A day had passed, Zara was now better than the previous day. She'd been given a high dose and if she was going to be constantly getting better, they'd perform a surgery and get rid of her tumour. It was risky but they couldn't risk it anymore. The tumour had spread almost in all corners of her brain and failure to do so, would kill her brain. It was a risky situation.

I had informed everyone including all our friends and the next day, they flocked the hospital. My parents had come too. Upon meeting her, their hearts melted, mom hugged Zara tightly as if she was fixing all her problems. The tears flowed from her eyes, as she tightened the grip on her. She had missed the girl she had raised for years. It pained her to see her daughter fading through  pain.

"Ammi, hug me one more time, I want to feel your warmth before the earth squeezes me. I want to feel home in your arms." Zara cried as she drank the tears that cascaded down her cheeks.

"Be optimistic, this is just but a trial. Allah will make it easy and you'll be fine again. Have faith in Him, He is Al-Shafii the curer. Beta, think of all those prophets who underwent through so many trials, in the long run, they had strong roots in their faith that's why they all succeeded. Remember prophet Ayyub, he was sick for eighteen years dear, but then he had lots of patience and eventually Allah cured him." Mom reasoned as she placed her daughter on her laps, caressing her face.

"Ammi, this is what I deserve, I am actually atoning for all the mistakes I made, I am a sinner," Zara spoke calmly. She was now habituated to the happenings. The cries and sobs were part of her life and it would be better if she kept her faith and hopes high. There was some element of hope although the chances of her survival were very thin.

"Shush, nothing will happen to you, we are all praying for you." Mom answered as she rubbed the tears off her face.

My friends were present too. They came in after my mom had left the room carrying flowers and get well soon cards. We used to this since our highschool days. Whenever one of us was sick, we'd carry flowers and cards for her and sometimes chocolate was the best gift.

"Really Zara, couldn't you take care of our friend?" Iram scolded giving her a tight hug. "This isn't the Zara I know. I want my girl back!" Meera added as she joined the hug.

"Allah will make easy for you dear, we still love you." Naseem prayed.

"Guys, are you still angry at me?" Zara asked plastering a small smile on her face.

"Of course not! Human is to err and I think that's so last season. Let's focus on you now!" Iram spoke with reassurance.

"Thank you guys. BarakaAllahu  feekum." Zara sighed as she rested her head on the white pillow next to her.
God knows how many tears that pillow had drank, God knows how many times she spilled her worries on that pillow. Those white walls had witnessed so many deaths, they had witnessed a lot of pain yet they intact watching us reassuring our dearest friend with false hopes as each one of us wanted her to live and see one another grow old, hear each other's bants and complains against each other.

We had been through a lot as friends and at times we dragged each other to the line between love and hatred but then it happened that our friendship had beaten so many odds. This was the toughest of them all.

One of the nurses came and instructed us to go out. The surgery would be performed in the next ten minutes. She was assisted by another nurse who pushed Zara's stretcher to the intensive care unit.

Our friend had gone. My heart kept on racing as I prayed non stop for our friend's recovery. She had been through a lot of pain.  I dived into my thoughts uttering a dua for her.

"Ya Allah make it easy for her, Ya Allah have mercy on her soul," I cried silently hugging my knees as I sat on the bench. Her husband was mumbling a prayer as he kept on walking back and forth.

It didn't pain me to see him again, I was glad that I was beyond that phase and his presence didn't kill my insides. However, his teary eyes and his worried self was so sympathetic.

Two hours later, the doctors came out of the room. We all stood up alerted and bombarded them with lots of questions.

"The next thirty minutes are going to be very critical. Anything can happen. The patient is very weak and she's not responding to the treatment. Just pray that she lives through this," the doctor informed us, rubbing the sweat from his forehead.

"How can you say that! My wife has to get better! How can you tell me this! Do something you doctor!" Yahya yelled as he kicked the bench with his foot. He was raging in anger, perhaps he'd never lost anything in his life.

"Cool down, am just a doctor. You cannot expect me to perform miracles. That's up to Allah." The doctor barked walking away.

The patient was shifted to another room. Only one person at a time was allowed to see her. She had regained her consciousness. She was weary and weak, her eyes deep sunken. Despite the rule, Yahya barged in as I was sitting next to his wife.

"Promise me that you'll be fine, promise me that you'll stay." He sobbed as he kissed her hands. She curved a smile on her face as his tears mixed with hers.

"Enough okay, you promise me that you'll always be happy no matter what happens." She cried as he put his hand on her face wiping the trails of tears on her face.

"Guys, don't cry please, and you babes you'll be fine. Nothing's gonna happen," I promised as my voice cracked. I didn't want to be weak especially before my best friend.  I wanted to be brave, I mustered the guts to calm them down despite the havoc that was roaring in my insides.

She took our hands in hers as she squeezed them breathing in heavily. She closed her eyes one more time mumbling something and suddenly the grip loosened as the life supporting machine indicated a straight line. She was no more!

Yahya who wasn't aware of what just happened started shaking her in disbelief. "Hey, wake up, you promised me forever remember,"

"Yahya, get a grip on yourself. She's now in a better place. Inna lillahi wa inna ileyhi rajiun, have patience. May Allah have mercy on her soul," I mumbled as I put my hand on my mouth preventing myself from crying out loud.

I felt a weight of sorrow press me into the ground in which I knelt. My mind clouded with pain, my heart grew cold and numb with pent up emotion. I felt clogged with pain and anger, hurt, and fear. All I could do was join the cry. So I let it out in one long mournful yell to the heavens.

We had lost her. Her wings of life were clipped!