FROST- Jotun Chronicles #1

Broken Dreams

Charlotte looked at me curiously, and I hesitated, not sure how to put this into words. So I just blurted it out, telling her all about Loki, how he’d saved me and how I’d read messages on his phone later and ran away from him too. “And now he’s back,” I finished, “and he says he never intended to kill me, and he wants you and I to go with him. He says we’re in danger here.”

                Charlotte bit her lip. She looked like she was thinking hard, “but there’s no way to know who to trust.”

                I felt relieved. As much as I hated to drag her into my problems, it felt like a crushing weight was lifted off my chest. Someone else knew. Someone else thought the same way, worried about the same thing. Who to trust.

                She reached out and put a hand on my knee, “Look, I’m not going to pretend I like it here. The girls are just starting to be nice to me, I mean…all of them but Amy. But everyone else thinks I should be a servant, and I don’t like the way they treat the servants, and even the half-blood ‘soldiers’ like they’re less them human…well, they’re not human….but you know what I mean.  But I don’t know if this Loki is any better than anyone here. It’s your choice.”

                “So,” I said slowly, “if I did decide to go with Loki, would you come with me?”

                Charlotte smiled, “Of course I would! There’s no way in hell that I would want to stay here without you, I’d be dressed in servant clothes before I could blink.”

                I frowned, “but you just met someone, that would mean leaving him behind.”

                Charlotte’s smile faltered, and the look on her face made my stomach turn with guilt. Maybe Loki was lying, maybe we could stay here. “Look,” I said quickly, “there’s no guarantee that he’s right. Maybe…maybe the Queen is all talk, or…or Loki is just telling it from his side of the story. Maybe the fire jotun attacked the frost and he just didn’t mention it. Anyways, I’m not about to go charging off with him just because he asked me. I don’t feel like I’m in any danger.” That wasn’t quite true, but Charlotte looked visibly more relaxed. She said, “I just don’t think we should make any snap decisions.  I mean, if we have to leave, of course I’ll come with you, but I don’t think we should charge off without knowing all the facts.”

                “Of course not,” I smiled reassuringly, “I have to think about it anyways. I’m really confused about the whole thing.”

                “I don’t blame you,” Charlotte slid off the bed and went to dig around in the drawers across the room, pulling out a silky white night gown, “How come every piece of clothing is white or grey?” She complained. I could tell she was keeping her voice light, trying to joke so that I'd stop looking so worried. I faked a smile.

                It was difficult falling asleep that night. I lay staring up at the underside of the dark canopy, thoughts whizzing through my head at incredible speeds. Listening to Charlotte’s deep even breathing. The turmoil inside me only seemed to be growing. Loki had been given orders to kill me by his father. He denied he was ever going to. But he was smooth and charming, he’d be able to lie easily if he wanted to. But what if he was telling the truth? Why had everyone lied to me about Amora, or at least, left out some of the truth?  Why was my dream about dying repeating itself, and why did it seem different the second time? Everything was utterly confusing, it was frightening.

                Telling myself to shut my eyes and breath deep helped a little bit. I tried shutting down my body, telling all my muscles to relax an inch at a time, trying to concentrate on something else. Anything to keep my mind from buzzing with constant worry. Gradually I could feel myself slipping into sleep, random words and pictures whizzing past, as they tend to do when you’re falling down the rabbit hole into the world of dreams.