Alex Rider : Traitor or Mistaken?

Chapter 18

They finished what they were asked to do, gathering as much intel as they could for the day. Alex was confident that they were close to finishing the mission. "Close to going back to the place you all call hell." Alex joked, making his way to the dining table with the curry he cooked up.
"Noooo. Please don't send us back there." Eagle wailed, complaining about how bad the food at Brecon Beacon was.
"I am pretty sure you guys will get a break before going back there," Alex said absently, watching Eagle scooping the curry like a greedy child. Wolf whacked Eagle over the head for hogging the ladle for so long before snatching it from Eagle. He picked up Alex's plate to get the curry for him despite the teen telling him to get his own share first. Alex muttered a thank you to Wolf and the Hispanic man ruffled his hair. They ate in silence. Eagle was eating like he hasn't been fed for days. When they were done, Alex started to clean up but the others pushed him out, convincing him that they should be doing the dishes as Alex had been the one that was cooking for them. When they finished cleaning the dishes they found Alex sitting on the couch with his knees drawn up to his chest where he was picking at the bandage around his arm absently, staring into empty space.

"Why didn't you tell us about it?" Fox asked after a moment of silence, referring to what had happened to Alex yesterday causing him to be running a high fever and was so close to being sent to the emergency ward just hours ago. Alex looked up at them before lowering his head to look at his hand. They waited for him to respond patiently. "I didn't want to bother anyone." He said so softly that they almost couldn't hear him.
"Cub," Wolf said, waiting for the kid to look at them. Alx looked up at them, seeing their concerned and sad expressions. "We are here for you no matter what. We might not have been the best teammates to you in the past but that's different now. You are our teammate, you are our cub. You need to tell us when you're hurting." Alex's jaw clenched slightly, he wrapped his arms around himself curling in on the couch as if to protect himself from the outside world. They watched as he chewed lightly on the insides of his lips, staring into space.  "I can still feel his hands all over," Alex whispered as he scratched hard at his skin, drawing blood. Snake's hand shot out to hold onto his hand, stopping him from hurting himself more.
They watched as tears brimmed the chocolate brown eyes that were aged with the many suicidal missions he had been sent on. Alex withdrew his hands from Snake when the firm grip slacked slightly from the shock of seeing tears. Alex rubbed hard at his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. "I couldn't even defend myself, I'm so useless." Alex cried, the tears running down his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Tears pricked the eyes of the soldiers, it was a heartbreaking and gut-wrenching sight witnessing the walls of such a strong-willed and witty teen crumble in front of them. He had curled himself up into a tighter ball, they noticed. The boy had rarely sought comfort from others that he doesn't do so even when they were there for him. Snake being the closest, gently eased him into an embrace. The boy was too upset that he never bothered resisting. Sobs wracked his body as he laid curled up in the medic's lap.
Snake looked up, willing himself not to cry not the teen that was silently sobbing in his arms. Eagle was wiping at his face furiously, Fox was looking at the ceiling as well hoping that the tears wouldn't roll down his cheeks. Wolf had buried his face into his hands, trying to control his emotions. They had somehow gotten used to using their mission leader as a support and as someone to help keep their emotions in check; the looks he sends them and the way the teen carries himself gives them cues on how they should behave and how they should present themselves as well. But now their usually emotionless and aloof mission leader, when they are outside the boundaries of their house, had broken down and is displaying such strong upsetting emotions.
Snake was running his fingers through Alex's hair as a gesture of comfort but it seems to worsen it as his soft sobs sounded like he was in so much pain and anguish. It had reminded him of the times when Jack would do that to him when he was sad... when he had met Yassen and the man had comforted him silently because he understood what the teen was going through, letting the teen cry about the loss of his friends and curl up in his lap acting as a protector to the boy in his most vulnerable state... "It's okay now, Cub. You're okay now. You are not useless, he had spiked your drinks so many times. You could have died from it, you can't blame yourself like this." Snake muttered to the boy, patting him almost as if he was trying to coax him to sleep. Soon after, Snake's efforts paid off. It might not be the nicest way to fall asleep but it works. The boy had cried himself to sleep but at least he was getting some rest.  Wolf easily picked him up and carried him into his room then he tucked Alex in carefully and shut the door. The unit decided to retire early that night, all hoping that Alex would get better and that he would stop blaming himself all the time. It wasn't healthy. He would burn out sooner or later like this.