The Art of Being Alone (Together)

16 | The F Word

There's one tiny problem with the instructions I gave Zack: when I get back to the cabin, Lizzie isn't there. Something tells me she wasn't just in a hurry to get to lunch, either-- and unfortunately, I'm right. When I get to the mess hall, Zack is sitting at our usual spot alone.

He looks up at me with wide, worried eyes as I walk over. I can't help noticing he didn't even bother grabbing anything to eat.

"She wasn't at the cabin," I explain. "She must be really embarrassed-- we should look for her."

He's standing before I even finish making the suggestion. "Embarrassed?"

"She's probably scared how you'll react. She hasn't exactly caught on to your feelings," I say as we hurry towards the open doors. "Somehow."

"You're insinuating my infatuation has been obvious," he gathers, scratching the back of his neck.

We dodge a few teens who're coming inside just as we're leaving. The grounds are mostly empty now; only a few campers are still walking around, making their way to lunch. The two of us move out of the doorway and loiter next to the building.

"Zack, I think anyone who watched you two interact for two minutes would have caught on." And let's be honest-- two minutes is generous. 

He opens his mouth to protest, but closes it quickly, looking resigned.

I sigh and look around, hoping I'll see Lizzie coming around a corner with her usual lopsided grin. But of course, she's still hiding somewhere, and I don't have any clue where to start looking. 

"Look, just to avoid any confusion, and to make it impossible for Rita to screw this up somehow, let's not beat around the bush. You have a big fat crush on Lizzie, and Lizzie has a big fat crush on you."

Zack's eyebrows raise, and his face turns red as he stares in shock at my blatant outburst.

"When we find her, I suggest you get on with it and tell her you like her before I lose any more of my sanity."

"But what if we can't find her? Or what if she doesn't want to talk? What if--"

"Lizzie's here somewhere," I rationalize. "And we're her friends, she can't..." I swallow, trailing off as I realize the F word just left my mouth. 

Well, not that F word, but you know... Friends. 

"She can't avoid us forever," I finish, trying to keep my cool exterior. 

Why did I say that? I called us friends without even thinking about it. Maybe that's all it was-- I wasn't thinking. I was just trying to keep Zack calm and I said the first thing that popped in my head.

He nods. "Yeah, okay, you're right. Sorry."

"To put it like Lizzie, try not to have an episode," I joke, glad to see that it makes him smile. "You check the buildings on the left of the path, I'll check the ones on the right. If she isn't here, I'll check the girls' area again, and if she isn't there then we can check the beach. But I'm sure we'll find her before then," I add, hoping he doesn't start panicking again.

Thankfully, he doesn't. He agrees and sets off towards one of the workshop buildings-- I honestly forget which is which, since I've only been inside the photography and painting rooms. I'm guessing if the fashion building is on the left side, that's the one he'll check first. If Lizzie's anything like me, she might've gone to dive into her work as a way to avoid everything else.

I head to the crafts cabin, but it's totally deserted. I call out her name but get no response, so I move on to the next building. As I walk into the painting workshop I hear movement in one of the closets, and actually wonder if I found her for a second before Ethan walks out.