His Marshmallow

Four

"To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now." - Alan Cohen.

*

THE DOORBELL CHIMED as I opened the door and walked into Rainbow Café. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed a few familiar faces from school. As I walked towards a empty table, I noticed a blonde whisper something in her friend's ear. Then they both stared at me with similar looks on their faces -one of disgust. Usually, I'm affected by things like this but for some reason, I didn't give a damn. I think it had something to do with my being here to see the new guy, Alexander.

I sat down in anticipation, keeping myself entertained with my phone as I waited. But an hour later, I was still waiting. Alexander hadn't walked through the door. Maybe he's just running a little late, I thought. I had hope and believed that he would show up. I mean, he's a nice guy and he wanted to be my partner so he'd definitely show.

About 30 minutes later, when I was just about to give up, he walked into the café. Just by stepping in, he had everyone's attention. Three guys seated at a table waved at him and he smiled as he approached them. I watched them exchange greetings, delighted to see one another. I took a deep breath, trying to muster all possible courage to confront him.

"You can do this, Maisie." I chanted to myself as I stood up and walked to his table.

"You're late." I said, my heart pounding in my chest. All conversations at their table stopped and faces turned to stare at me.

"Are you talking to me?" Alex asked.

I nodded.
"Late for what?" His right eyebrow lifted in question.

The person I was talking to didn't seem like the same Alex I met yesterday. "We were supposed to meet about an hour and 30 minutes ago for the assignment."
"Assignment?" He looked genuinely confused for a second before realization dawned on him.
"Oh, that? Wait, you really thought I'd be your partner?" He laughed. "I was just messing with you. Can't you tell when someone is playing a prank on you?"

It felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces hearing him say that. I should have known.

"You could have just said it to my face."

"I thought it was pretty obvious. Why would I want to partners with an ugly fatass like you. This isn't a fantasy, you know. This is real life, Fatsie. No one wants to be associated with you. Get that into your fat skull."

I jolted awake, my heart beating wildly. I looked around and realized I was in my bed, inside my room. There was no Alex, and I wasn't in the café. It was all a dream.

What a lousy dream!

I placed my hand on my chest and took deep steady breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was a dream, Maisie.

I unplugged my phone from it's charger. The time was 8:27am. Thanks to that stupid dream, I was up earlier than usual on a Saturday. I checked my messages and saw that Alex's texts from last night and my replies were still there. I didn't know whether I should be happy that that part was a dream. We agreed to meet today at Rainbow Café that's close to our school. I remember falling asleep with a smile on my face last night but look at me waking up in a crappy mood because of the dream.

I contemplated calling or texting Alex to cancel but I knew that would just make me a coward. I knew it'd be stupid and cowardly for me to decide not to go just because of a dream. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I headed to the kitchen where I knew my mom would be. The smell of pancakes wafted into my nostrils as soon as I entered the kitchen.