For the Devil to Dance Again [tomarry]

9. the first lesson

Harry returned, somewhat sheepishly, to the Slytherin Common Room. After his talk with Professor Rowle, his reaction seemed childish and over the top. Thankfully, his friends forgave him.

Except, that is, for Theodore, who wasn't in the common room when Harry showed up.

"I think he stayed in the Room," Millicent told him quietly, apart from the others. "He seemed upset. Did you really not tell him about being a parselmouth?"

Harry nodded. Millicent looked at him like he was an idiot, but in a nice way. Harry certainly felt stupid, especially after Malfoy had his say.

"You realize that if you had told us that you were a parselmouth, no one would have ever raised and objection to your sorting ever again?" he asked. "Everyone knows that parsemouths belong here, in Slytherin."

It was a good point, and Harry blamed his upbringing for his shortsightedness. He blamed James and Lily for most of his faults, really. Or, at least, the most troublesome ones.

Not knowing what else to do, and feeling like a monumental ass, Harry headed back to the Room of Requirement, and paced back and forth three times.

I'm looking for Theodore Nott, I'm looking for Theodore Nott, I'm looking for Theodore Nott.

When the door appeared, Harry pushed it open. There was Theo, sitting in a recreation of his garden at Nott Manor.

He looked up, saw Harry, and looked away.

Harry went to sit on the grass with him. It felt real. The sky looked real, too. but so did the ceiling in the Great Hall.

They sat in silence for a long while.

"I thought you trusted me," Theo finally said.

"I do."

"Then why wouldn't you tell me that you're a parselmouth?" Theo asked, and Harry could finally hear the anger he knew had been bubbling under the surface since the duel. Theo didn't shout - he never shouted - but Harry flinched as though he had.

"I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer my question," Theo snapped, looking away.

"It was my bullshit to deal with, okay? My stupid father issues and self-hatred and fear. I couldn't tell anyone, because if I told, that would make it real."

The truth poured out of Harry's mouth quite against his will. But he couldn't deny Theo's plea - why didn't you trust me?

They were quiet for another long moment.

"You keep a lot of secrets, don't you, Harry?"

"I guess I do."

"You can tell me anything, you know."

Harry shrugged. It was an easy enough thing to say, but could he, really? Theo was his best friend. He trusted him more than anyone in the world. But Harry had learned a long time before Hogwarts that the only person he could rely on was himself. And that was a hard lesson to get past.

"I know that," he said. "I do. But it's hard to tell you things I can't even admit to myself."

"Like the fact that you think you might be a dark wizard?"

Harry stared. Mouth agape, he was half-tempted to deny it. But he saw the certainty in Theo's eyes. If he denied the truth now, if he lied, they would never be as close again.

"Yeah. Who else knows?"

"Millicent might suspect, if only because you're so careful not to ask about certain things," Theo said. "She's more observant than people realize."