[Katy Perry- By The Grace Of God]
(Repeat)
I did my normal morning routine, hair, teeth, face, clothes.
The routine I hated so much. I wish it was still break, because if you haven't noticed, school is pretty much my kind of torture.
I padded over to my mother's room, a different room than my father's, yeah family problems.
"Hey mom." I weakly smiled at her.
She sat crossed legged on a large bed, staring off into the distance, totally blanked, threatening to bring tears to my eyes.
"Hi Kaylee." She croaked and my heart swelled.
She didn't look at me. She never did.
I knot formed in my throat and I blinked as fast as I could not letting her see me, well, like her.
I studied her pale face, deep bags because of her insomnia, bloodshot eyes, the blue in her eyes are the only color she has, they're bright, but they aren't happy. Chapped thin lips, whitish-blonde crumpled thin hair falling on her shoulders and in all directions.
"I'm going to school, I just wanted to say bye and I love you." I choked out the last words.
"Give me my meds baby." She said, vigorously fidgeting with her fingers.
I knew she loved me but she doesn't know anything without her medicine, the thing that's killing my mom.
I shrugged walking over to her bathroom. I rummaged through her mirror cabinet looking for the blue tablets. Once I found them, I wrapped it around my hands, and looked up at the mirror.
"She loves you." I whispered to myself.
No she doesn't. My subconscious contradicted and I clenched my jaw.
Yes she does.
Don't be silly, little girl, no one loves you.
"Harry does." I said out loud, catching myself by surprise.
He feels bad for you.
Kill yourself bitch, no one would notice.
All the bad things people have ever told me repeated in my head. Banging and around in my skull flooding my thoughts.
"Kaylee!" I heard my dad shout from downstairs and I'm freed from my tortuous mind.
I walked back to my mom and handed her the pills without looking at her.
Why care anymore, honestly.
Life's a routine of false hope.
I don't give a fuck who you are, dreams never come true.
I'm a bit of a downer, but tell me this, how many times have you cried about the same thing?
