His breath hitched, my heart stopping as I wrapped myself around him more tightly, my hands finding their way into his sopping-wet hair. The water trickled down my arms, and despite how cold his lips were, elation, excitement, and endless warmth overwhelmed me. My face became swarmed with heat, his hold underneath my thighs electrifying.
Our tongues poked each other's simultaneously, surprised to find that the other was also seeking entrance. They took a moment to connect, lingering before his wandered to brush across my bottom lip and venture into my mouth. I couldn't help but whimper, my stomach lurching. I'd never felt this way before. I'd never kissed anyone before, and forget about having feelings for someone.
The moment ended far too soon, him disconnecting swiftly and out of the blue. I reopened my eyes to find his glossing over with panic and unsureness. His mouth began to twitch before it found a half-smile that was meant to portray his apparent guilt in the form of a silent apology that I couldn't read. Why?
"Betty... I-I'm sorry. We- we can't do this. I'm so-", he told me, unable to find the breath to form the words, choking in between syllables.
"Oh." was the only thing I could find the physical and mental strength to say in that moment. He didn't want this.
"Forget it, Jughead. I knew this was only one-sided. God, I-I'm so sorry. Wow, I must look like an idiot right now.". His hands remained on my legs, sliding off as I hurriedly swam back to the dock. I climbed up as steadily as I could with slippery hands, my head hanging down while I waited for him to join me.
He silently laid his dry jacket across my shoulders, taking a very audible breath before suggesting that we went home to clean up.
~~
My shower was thoughtless besides the one that forced itself back into my mind each time I opened my eyes, water falling harshly into them as my head remained tilted up. Running my hands through my hair, ridding it of the shampoo, only reminded me of the way he'd stroke my hair as I'd cried before. As I washed my arms, I couldn't help but imagine it were his touch instead. It were his hands washing my gingerly, not my own.
My tears blended in perfectly with the shower water, the only differentiation between them being the salty taste when they leisurely crossed over my lips.
My head fell back in defeat onto one of the glass walls, ice cold, just like I'd allowed the shower to run. Warm water was, as I knew, a privilege to obtain and to use. I wasn't going to take advantage of that, especially after I'd kissed him. I didn't deserve it. He didn't enjoy it. He didn't want it.
I hadn't realize that the door opened until I heard it suddenly being slammed shut.
"I-I'm sorry, Betty! I f-forgot that you were in there.", he shouted, his voice muffled by the now closed door and what I could make out to possibly be a hand over his mouth.
That was the last straw. I jolted forward with a brief scream, followed a sobbing as I collapsed to the floor, my knees suddenly shaking and unable to hold me.
I quickly coaxed myself together, crawling out of the shower, wrapping myself in a rough, navy blue towel, sitting for a moment before I went back into my room to change, but only because the chill against my skin had gotten too intense for me to bear any longer.
I gradually stepped down the stairs, my hair dripping onto my shoulders. Jug looked up from the couch, looking as if he'd just woken up from a nap, though he had on a set of fresh clothes.
"I- uh, I used the other shower. I probably should've remember to do that to begin with. I'm really sorry, Betty.", he murmured with an awkward, humorless chuckle. The frown on his face failed to leave.
Likewise, the tears hadn't managed to leave mine either, and seeing his so apologetic made it all the more difficult to keep myself together.
"N-No, I should be the one apologizing. I-I d-didn't lock the d-door. You- you were just trying to s-shower. The l-last thing you would want to do is to s-see me like that. Oh, my God, I-I'm so sorry, Jughead! I-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for k-kissing you and f-for failing to lock th-the door. T-This is c-completely m-my fault!", I cried, taking a seat on the stairs, burying my head in my hands.
I could hear his weight being lifted from the couch and onto the creaky floorboards, gradually coming forward before a hand was hesitantly placed onto my shoulder. I flinched at the touch, but it remained, feeling nearly lifeless there.
"No, Betty, it's not your fault. I was the one to k-kiss you, and it was my fault for walking in. I was too dazed to-".
"Stop apologizing, Jughead! It's not your fault, okay? This is my fault! I'm acknowledging my faults! Let me do something right for once in my life! I need to hold myself accountable for my mistakes!", I wailed.
"No, Betty... this really isn't your fault. I promise you, precious.".
My head flew from my hands, eyes widened as I gaped at him. My chest heaved, my hand slapping over my opened mouth as I struggled to control my breathing.
"Betty? W-What's wrong? What did-".
He didn't get to finish before I hauled myself to my feet, running as fast as my legs could carry me out of the house.
