Back to you

Reconcile

I've been driving for about an hour now. I bought a new outfit, black and leather, as well as stopped at a gas station to fix my hair and makeup. I had to do so without being recognized which proved rather difficult considering who I am.

I made sure to keep my hat and glasses on and the sleeves of my jacket pulled down. My tattoos would be dead giveaways to anyone who knew me. I wasn't particularly surprised that Carter and Sadie didn't know who I was however. Neither have much of an interest in pop culture. They listen to music with their dad's old record player and don't watch much tv. It was refreshing really.

I had been driving for a few hours now. The landscape was becoming more familiar. I thought back to the last time I came here, eleven years ago. I knew my dad owned property in upstate New York, but what I hadn't known was that he built a safe house there. It was surrounded by forest and overlooking a lake. It wasn't registered anywhere, so no one really knew it existed. It just was.

I turned down the winding gravel drive way. I got out of the car and heard a click. "Who are you and why are you here!?" I stayed silent. "Answer me!" He demanded. I turned around slowly and all air escaped my body. I felt like I'd been socked in the gut. I kept a straight face but I could feel my built composure wearing thin.

He looked different, older, but that's to be expected. He looked good though... and a lot like me, which was also to be expected considering we're twins. His black hair was styled and his brown eyes mirrored my own. He had his facial hair trimmed and was in a simple white shirt and dark wash jeans with black hightops. Oh and did I mention he was aiming a pistol at me? What a wonderful family reunion.

"Put the gun down." I stated calmly.

"No, not until you tell me who you are and what you want."

"I don't want anything from you." I told him honestly. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"What do you mean? You don't know me."

"I do actually. Now put the gun down and we'll talk."

He wouldn't shoot me. I would be suprised if the gun was even loaded. If it was it probably had the safety lock on. I was beginning to get impatient, so I pulled out my pocket knife and threw it in his direction effectively knocking the weapon right out of his hand.

He just stared at me in shock and I figured now was as good a time as ever. He paled when I took off my hat and glasses. You would've thought he'd seen a ghost what with the look on his face. "Dem?" He breathed.

I nodded. "Yeah Dev it's me."

It was silent until I broke. He stood there as I hit him. I had never been so angry and relieved all at once in my entire life. I eventually stopped pounding my fists on his chest and just let him hold me as I cried. I hated this. I was supposed to be the strong one. He was weak. That's why he left. He ran away and he left me behind without a single goodbye. It was supposed to be us against the world.

"I know Dem, I know. I'm so sorry and I know nothing will ever change what happened and for that I'm just so fucking sorry." I didn't realize I had said my thoughts aloud until he responded.

"Where were you when I was kidnapped and beaten everyday for half a year! How about when I was shot three times and stabbed in the shoulder! Or when I lost my goddamn memory for three months only to jump off a cliff, get it back and be kidnapped again an hour later! I fucking needed you! I needed you and you weren't there! You should have fucking been there!" I screamed. "I didn't know where you were!" I continued, softer this time. "I thought you were dead!" My voice cracked as more tears spilled down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated, his voice strained. The guilt and regret in his eyes was nothing compared to the pain in mine.

"Sorry isn't good enough." I jumped in my car and jammed the key into the ignition. I ignored him as he begged me not to leave.

I backed out of the driveway and turned the car around only to have him jump infront of it. I slammed on the brakes and watched as he climbed onto the hood and held on. "What the hell are you doing! Get off my car!" I yelled.

"I'm not letting you leave! And we both know damn well this ain't your car! You stole it right off a lot!" He yelled back.

"How'd you know?" I cracked a smile.

"The tag you idiot! It has no license plate! Looks like your inner blonde is making a guest appearance!" I couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're not lettin go are ya?"

"Nope!"

"Hold on tight!" I smirked and pressed the gas. He was yelling, but I could only make out a few words. "Swear" "God" "Stop" "Fuck" "You're" and "Die" were among them. I flew down the highway at about 120 miles an hour. We were coming up on a dead end. He looked at me with such fear I almost stopped. Almost. I put the car in gear and he shut his eyes as I jerked the steering wheel to the left, pulled on the handbrake and pushed the clutch simultaneously. From the time I learned to drive until now, drifting has remained one of my favorite things.

We got back to the house and he stayed in the same position, not moving a muscle. I got out and poked him.

"I. Could. Have. Died."

"But did you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No. If I did I wouldn't be talking to you." He said annoyed.

"Exactly."

"You're physco."

"I'm aware."

"We cool?" He asked with a hopeful smile.

"Consider that you're absolution." I grinned.