The Turquoise Cure (Eren X Reader)

Chapter 44: Give Up on Your Dreams and Die

 TW: THIS IS DEFINITELY THE MOST GRAPHIC CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN, SO PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

   "Sir, I don't think you understand," you said, Levi's eyes burning holes in the back of your head as he impatiently waited. "I do understand," the commander said offering a small smile, "so I need Levi to do what's best in case I falter." You stared at him, your chest pounding in your ears. I can't let him and every other soldier here die for me and Levi. "They knew what was coming," Erwin said, placing his hand on your shoulder, "and so did I." "Erwin," Levi said, his voice laced with anger, "you can't seriously expect us to let you and almost a hundred other people lay down and die just for the Beast Titan." It was silent for a moment, interrupted only by the roaring of rocks being thrown towards the horses by the Beast Titan and the thrashing in Shiganshina- it seemed that Eren had transformed. Erwin offered another small smile, "That's exactly what I need you to do for me." 

    The three of you stood in a semicircle, eyes darting from person-to-person-to-ground as the gravity of the situation sunk through. "It's going to take me a minute to let everyone know what the plan is," he said, now seeming upset. No wonder; how do you command a hundred people to die? "Levi," he said, moving his hand to Levi's shoulder, "you attack from the right; take all the titans surrounding the Beast out from there." He then turned back to you, "and you do the same from the left." You nodded, feeling nauseous as you peeked over the wall at the soldiers shielding themselves from the rubble being thrown, awaiting the order to do what the Survey Corps. was famous for, "give up on your dreams and die." 

    "Erwin," Levi said, moving closer to the tall, blonde man. "Thank you," Erwin said, smiling as he turned on his heel, disappearing over the wall beneath. 

    Levi stared after him for a moment, then turned to you. "No time for fuck ups," he said, his voice heavy. You nodded curtly, sucking in a deep breath as you wiped your still bleeding arm against your side. "Here," Levi said, his voice softer this time. He wrapped a piece of cloth around the elbow, staunching some of the flow. "Let's kill him," he said, peeking into your eyes. No words could have been uttered from your mouth. You looked over to the other side of the wall, where Eren and Reiner were brawling, the destroyed buildings blocking a clear view. "Mhm," you said, before the two of you turned, you to the left and Levi to the right, to await a signal to move. 

    As you waited on the edge of the wall, a loud roar trembled in your ears. You didn't dare turn to look over the wall- whatever you saw was sure to distract you. You froze, however, as you watched a gunpowder barrel soar from the Beast Titan's grasp, flying above the wall in-between the positions you and Levi held. You were sure he saw it too. He was too far away, but you knew that if you went after that barrel, he likely wouldn't agree. Instead, you closed your eyes, waiting for a loud bang or explosion to sound, but none did. 

    Several minutes ticked by, no signal from Erwin, nor any indication of a struggle occurring from the other side of the wall. You had heard the loud explosions of the thunder spears earlier, and the silence between both Eren and Reiner made you confident. They got him. 

    Your thoughts were halted as a stillness took over the world. You felt every muscle in your body, every hair on your skin stand still. This feeling was all too familiar. Even the birds in the sky had seemed to freeze in place, their beating wings silenced mid-flight. "LEVI!" you screamed, knowing what was to come without knowing what was to come. 

    Your voice was drowned out as a neon lightning bolt shot from the sky, the clouds around it a yellowish green. You couldn't look away anymore. As you turned to see the other side of the wall, the Colossal Titan materializing before you, you realized that you were wrong: you made the wrong choice. If you had stopped that barrel, this would not have happened. You dug your nails into your bleeding wound, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. What the hell are we supposed to do now? Peering down the wall, you could see Erwin and his troops huddling on the ground as you realized a moment too late what was happening.