Matt's Point Of View
Today's been a bloody rollarcoaster. I couldn't do this. Lying, i bloody hated it but it was in all of their best interests. Lexi had suggested a date, i was skeptical at first, i thought it was a joke, i'd never been on a real date ever. Yet my confindence was always as high as a skyscraper. I wore a mask so no one questioned anything, no one saw the stuff that i'd been through, me and Lexi had been through. No one but Lexi had ever seen the night terrors, the amount of screaming i did, the crying no one understood fully other than Lexi.
The resturant me and Mags were going to was about five minutes on foot so the car was pointless. She was different, strangley different. She wouldn't make eye contact with me. Even in the walk, she stared at her shoes or checked her phone, no words exchanged between us two, it was annoying me. "What's up?" I said putting my hands into my pockets for warmth. She didn't speak just shugged her shoulders. "Mags, stop it, what's wrong?" i persisted. "NOTHING!" She yelled at me. I wasn't expecting that. I expected her to still be mad about yesterday but nothing like this. "Something is obviously wrong, you're ignoring me and Lexi!" I said back riskingly. "You, you bloody expect me to be jolly and happy when you got drunk out of your mind yesterday and kissed another girl. Not a good choice of one as well!" Maggie screamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't tell you did i?" i tried to lie again like i'd done to lexi. "Tell me what huh Matt?" She says angrily. "I was high, okay. I had to pay to get high with a fucking kiss! I wanted to bloody sleep so i payed the bloody girl with a kiss!" I shouted a complete lie at the girl i loved face. She looked guilty, sorry, empty. I didn't say anything else, hug her or kiss her. If she wanted to she could. Lying hurt me.
The truth was more complex. I couldn't scream for help, they'd kill me. I couldn't tell, they'd kill me. I couldn't do anything, it was inevitable. They'd kill me of i didn't have that money by tonight and i didn't. A few weeks back i was at an all time low. The night terrors started playing up when i began dating Mags they were usually about losing her or Lexi. I couldn't bear to think about it. The only way i generally got a good nights sleep was when i was coming down from a drug high. I bought some, cocaine. I ran out a couple days ago, but that wasn't the worst part. The dealer who i bought the cocaine from was more ruthless than i could ever imagine. He told me that if i didn't have the money which was evedentally ten thousand pound by today i was dead. I thought it was a wind up but the call yesterday told me otherwise. They said that i didn't have it a seven tonight, i bullet would be running through my brain. The kiss was a payment that was the truth. I needed to get my last good nights sleep. I knew what today held.
In the resturant held silence between me and Maggie. It was unbearable to think in less than fifteen minutes i could be laying on the floor dead and our last words were an argument. I sat down, Maggie didn't speak. I tried several times to make conversation between us but again they drifted off and ended up failed. I was done, completely done and Maggie obviously was too. I stood up from the table for two that we were sitting at. "I'm going toilet" i say sternly not that she maggie as she raised her eyebrows and went back to looking at menu.
I didn't go to the bathroom. I went outside. No matter how bitchy Mags was being i wasn't about to ditch because i loved her. I did. I just wasn't sure she loved me anymore, that made sad but i had to continue to wear the mask of 'i don't give a shit' which was another lie from Matt. I stood in the chilly alley next to the resturants back door. I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and a lighter and lit it up. I inhaled the hot smoke into my lungs and waited a few seconds before breathing out. I made the suspence from the gang that sold me the drugs a little more bearable. I did this many times, more suspence that i could be dead any second. I tried to think it was a wind up still, an prank until i felt the cool metal of a gun pressed up against the skin on the back of my neck. I dropped the cigerette and starting breathing deeper. "You got the money Myres?" An unfamiliar voice asked in a slight american accent i think. "N-no" i stuttered, it wasn't a wind up. This. Was. Fucking. Real. I turned to the man who looked twenty or so, he wasn't a face i recognised. "It's a shame" he said heartlessly. "W-w-why?" i nervously asked knowing the answer. I though about everything. How unbelievably i am for wasting my life on drugs. I thought about how much i really did love Maggie, he brown eyes a shade i'd never seen before, and how i hadn't been able to be with her for long. I though about my sister who was so fragile, her heart made of weak glass and how easily Thomas could smash. She'd be devistated just like with Alex, if mum returned her heart would smash. I thought about how Lexi would have to expain to our abusive mother how her son died exactly how her ex husbund died. Drugs. Fuck em' but i couldn't know, they were my cause of death.
"I really didn't want to do this" The man chuckled. A sound of a boom rang through my ears. A quick flash of pain rang though my body. My side hit the frosty floor as i let out a small scream. People ran to me, all over, they all ran to me. Most attention i'd ever had. Chefs from the resturants and waiters and the only one that mattered. Maggie. "Oh my Matt! Don't move we're gonna get help, you're gonna be okay?" She worried, the longest sentence she'd said all day. "It's ok, it doesn't hurt." i said numbness taking over my mind. "I love you babe, tell Lexi i love her and be safe. Tell Lexi, under my bed, tell her. Promise?" I asked knowing Lexi is smart enough to figure out who did it. Better than any police were. "Promise. I love you Matt." Maggie's voice faded at the last syllables but that was all that mattered. She loved me. Maggie loved me. That was my last thought. As my heart stopped pumping, my brain stopped thinking. My eyes closed. I was peaceful at last.
A/N - (So i feel like a murderer and i didn't want to kill Matt off but someone kind of needed too and yeah. I feel really guilty)
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troublesome
Teen FictionAs the story changes point of views between five teenagers, they discover what makes them different and what makes them similar. In a world where your social title is everything the teens must choose their own idea of who they are, despite their pro...
