Ellie Williams preferences and Imagines| TLOU | E.W | Ellie x Reader |

Monophobia

Summary; Y/N gets left behind when Ellie goes to find Abby.

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It was silent in the little house you and ellie shared. You were tucked up warm in bed with no care in the world. After coming back to Jackson, you both decided it would be best to move into the small farmhouse nearby. Although Jackson was home, it harboured way too many sad memories, good too, but the sadness always seemed to outweigh the good memories you had there. You both needed to heal and came to the conclusion to get out of Jackson. You did however visit frequently, and people were always at your house. 

Over the past few weeks Tommy had been visiting fairly often and although it was always so good to see him up and moving around, you couldn't help but feel like something bad was going to happen. Tommy was still hell bent on finding and killing Abby, but after being shot, he could hardly hold a gun. Tommy was one of the nicest people you knew when you first ended up in Jackson, but since he got shot, a lot had changed. You wondered if the gunshot had something to do with it. His personality had changed. He was cold and nasty, even him and Maria had split up but that didn't stop you from making him and Ellie lunch, bringing them both tea when they were looking over maps and other clues to where Abby could be.

Ellie had promised you that she wouldn't go looking for her again. After everything that happened the first time. You could have died. More than once. It scared Ellie. She was also struggling with flashbacks and awful nightmares that would wake you in the middle of the night. You would always have to calm her down, rock her to sleep, but you never minded. You loved her so much. You'd do anything for her.

You stood in the kitchen washing plates from the night before as Tommy's voice raised,

"You fucking promised, Ellie. If I could go. You bloody know I would, but look at me."

Ellie sounded sympathetic as she tried to reason with the older man. They lost people last time too. Jesse, Dina, Tommy had a hole in his head. Somehow it didn't seem worth it. Joel wouldn't have wanted people dying for him. 

"I know, Tommy. I just can't"

Tommy stared to get nasty. Throwing blame around and you stood in the doorway,

"Right. Stop this. Now. You need to go and calm down."

You looked at Tommy sternly standing your ground,

"This isn't happening again, Tommy. I think you should leave."

He scoffed and threw his hands up leaving the map and other things he'd found out on the table,

"You know, when Joel promised something. He fucking meant it."

That was a low blow. Even for Tommy. Ellie looked down at the map and stayed quiet as Tommy slammed the door shut.

"Hey."

You walked over to ellie putting your hand on her shoulder, rubbing your thumb against her clothing.

"He doesn't mean it, you know?"

Ellie sighed and got up from the table, kicking her shoes off and dragging herself up the stairs. You thought it'd be best to leave her be for a bit. Hearing tommy say those things would have hurt.

*

You still hadn't heard from Ellie come the evening so you went to check on her. It was a cold evening and the thought of climbing into a warm bed next to the person you loved was the best thought. Ellie lay in bed sleeping. You stood against the door frame smiling. She hardly ever got sleep, so to see her laying there peaceful was a relief. You climbed into bed next to her, careful not to wake the sleeping girl as you drifted off to sleep.

You woke cold, like something was missing as your eyes fluttered open. Ellie wasn't there. Of course sometimes she would get up to use the bathroom or she would be sitting in her study after a nightmare, but this felt different. There was a pit in your stomach. You jumped out of bed pulling a bit fluffy jumper on as you belted down the stairs. Your heart sunk as you saw Ellie folding the map tommy had left into her bag.

"Don't."

Ellie looked up at you, she hadn't even heard you running down the stairs.

"I have to Y/N. I have to see this through."

You closed your eyes wishing this wasn't happening.

"Please, Ellie. Don't go."

Ellie zipped up her bag and sighed.

"I have to find her, Y/N. I have to finish this. I can't sleep, I see Joel all the time... come with me?"

You took a step back and shook your head

"Ellie I can't. After last time. We lost so much."

Ellie understood of course she did. She pulled her backpack on and zipped up the coat she was wearing. Joel's coat.

"Don't expect me to be here when you get back."

Ellie looked back at you puzzled.

"I can't do this again. Wondering if you're alive or dead. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough."

It was Ellie's turn to close her eyes,

"I get it Y/N. I'm sorry. I..."

She squeezed her hands together as she walked towards the back door, opening it with a single click.

"I love you."

She stood in the doorway looking back at you. Hoping, praying to hear you say you loved her too.

"No, you don't."

That was a low blow from you, but you couldn't help but feel your heart break in two as she closed the door, turning her back on you, the life you were both making for yourself. For all she knew she could be chasing a ghost. You didn't know if you'd ever see Ellie again, you didn't know if you'd go back to Jackson, you didn't know if you would ever be the same again. All you knew was your Ellie had gone and you couldn't stay in this house without her any longer.