gravity | r. suna ✓

seven

I shove the sushi into my mouth, aggressively chewing and swallowing. "There. Are you happy?"

The corner of his mouth lifts, a familiar half-smile. He opens his obento, takes a spoonful of rice and eats it with no trouble.

I manage to finish the obento and laugh a little in the process. I still feel tense, tired. I fall asleep on my arms until lunchtime ends and Suna wakes me.

- Suna, Thursday, 5:15pm -

I don't have volleyball practice today, and Ayano isn't playing well enough to show up to her team's training. Playing the sick card, I walk her home as the sky darkens. Her mouth didn't ask me to, but her eyes did.

After she gets home safely and I watch her walk through the door, I take my route home. It occurs to me, I have no idea how Ayano managed to end up on my street.

It must be some kind of coincidence. I don't believe in fate.

When I reach the part of my street where Aya was attacked, I stop. I sit under a nearby tree, and those minutes of last night replay in my head.

She said to me, before she went inside, "I'm just shaken. I'll be alright by the time of the boys vs girls game."

I'm trying to believe her.

- Ayano, Thursday, 12:03am -

I can't breathe.

My chest is being twisted and squeezed like a wet sponge, wrung out.

Everything around me is spinning. My muscles are tight. It feels like last night, but I'm not being chased. I'm not in any danger, so why do I feel like I have to run?

Trying to get enough air into my lungs, I pick up my phone, frantically scrolling through my contacts while I gasp for oxygen.

When I get to the R section, there is only one name there.

Please pick up. Please pick up. Please, please, please.

It rings three times, but on the fourth, he picks up.

I don't have to say a word.

He hears my ragged breathing and he asks me where I am.

I'm not sure I can speak, but I manage to spit out two words. "The park."

There's a click at the end of the line and I can almost here him say, "I'll be there."

I'm not at the park. I'm in my room. I said I was at the park because I don't think I can stay here when every part of me is screaming to run.

I reach the park in two minutes, and in another minute, Suna arrives. The swing is cold under me as I stare at my shoes, still trying to regulate my breathing. Running calmed me down, but I'm still in panic mode.

Suna kneels in front of me and tilts my head to look him in the eyes. I know he can see my panic. His eyes see everything.

He holds my wrist, checking my pulse. I know he'll find it's irregular.

I know it's cold, but I feel hot.

"You're having a panic attack," he states. "It's okay, I'm here."

He doesn't let go of my wrist until I can breathe normally.

15 minutes later, the swing under me has warmed up against my body and the cold air against my face is starting to sting, now that I've cooled down a little.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Suna asks, staring straight ahead, his swing creaking, moving slightly back and forth.

"I don't know what happened. If I did I would."

He still doesn't look at me, apparently deep in thought. "We should probably head home and get some rest," he suggests quietly, closing his eyes and leaning back. The swing moves forward a little more, and for a moment I think that he's going to start swinging like a child, but instead he stands up.

I don't really want to go back to my room, which has four walls and a floor and a roof and is an enclosure, unlike this park which is in open air.

Suna looks over his shoulder and says goodbye to me with his eyes. I want to ask him why he would want to go back to his apartment, which is also an enclosure, but maybe he doesn't see it that way.

Before I can stop myself, my feet are flying towards him as he moves away from me, and my hands wrap around his waist, my cheek pressed against the space between his shoulder blades. He stops, shocked, but I can't see his face, so I have no idea what he's thinking right now. As for me, I'm thinking, "it's been so long since I touched someone. I forgot how comforting the warmth of another body is."

"Can I just... for a minute..." I stammer, not really knowing how to phrase what I'm asking, but Suna doesn't push me off him, so I guess he understands. His fingers find their way to my wrist, and I can feel him checking my pulse, checking to see if I'm panicking, but if my pulse is irregular, it's not because of panic.

After a minute of us like this, I let go of him. I turn him around and his face is unreadable, his eyes calculating and searching, slightly wider than normal, but nothing like they were when he had my attacker pinned on the grass.

"I'm going to be okay." Is all I say, and he nods, the corner of his mouth pulling upwards like someone is pulling an invisible string.

When I get back to my room, I go straight to sleep.

a/n++

i actually had a panic attack the other night so ig you could say this might be accurate, its definitely how my panic attacks are. panic attacks are different for everyone thoooo :)) wish i had someone back then to comfort me like suna helps ayano but its ok, this story comforts me so its fine

qotd: what do you think of the story so far? what fanfics from me would you like to see in the future (what characters, what genre, is it character x oc or character x reader, etc)